Saturday, April 19, 2014

Life at the Moment-

I think it is only fair to share with ya'll where I am at in regards to school since I spent a lengthy post talking about possible ending it.

In this past week, I finished my second semester of my first year of graduate school. Everyone please keep your fingers crossed that I pass my New Testament class. This good student over here chose to not pay attention all semester and then was presented with an essay question test with questions she had no idea what the answers were. Yeah, I know super great decision on my part. You'd think I would have tested this out in high school or undergrad. Nope! I decided graduate school was the best time to try and see how that all works out. 

Sorry for that tangent. Any who, I finished this week and I start my summer term the first week in May. That will be two months of intense school work and then I am done until September. And being done could also mean being done for good or maybe just a year. I have spent the past few weeks applying for jobs in the admission counselor field with high schools and universities. I've also applied for a few administrative assistant jobs. 

I realized I am much more of a hands on individual than a sit down and listen to a lecture individual. Part of me is just wanting to get out in to the work force and see what it is like to work a 9-5 job or something along those lines. I think I just need to see what the other side of life is like.

I've been considering a few options to take:
1.) If I get a job as an admissions counselor, I will take a year off and see how I like it. At the end of the year, I will consider if finishing my graduate work is what I want or not what I want.
2.) If a job does not come along, I will take one class in the fall and work as much as I can at the Cheesecake Factory.
3.) I'll take a complete year off and work full-time for some kind of job.

I've been questioning myself why I think this is a good decision because I was so set on moving out here for graduate school. And while I've been asking myself that, I have come to discover a lot:
1.) I thought I needed an excuse to move to Washington and school became my excuse.
2.) I never wanted to be a college graduate that was in the statistics of other college graduates who did not have a plan for after college.
3.) I wanted to make everyone around me proud and I created an idea and dream that everyone could be proud of including myself, but I am realizing that maybe its not what I want to pursue in the long run.

These past few weeks have been filled with lots of questions, but I am encouraged by these two quotes:

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before and more importantly, you're doing something. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect. Whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life. Whatever it is you're scared of doing, do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever. "
-Neil Gaiman-



Prayers, kind words, and any job sources in Washington are greatly appreciated. 


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Friday, March 28, 2014

6 Months


Today I celebrate 6 months with this guy.
Yeah, yeah, I'm going to get all sappy on you, but how can I not!

Here are the things I have come to love about this man:

1.) His never ending talk about cars and how he will stop halfway through when explaining them to me because he realizes I don't understand the language he is speaking. And each time I remind him that I may not understand, but I will always listen. Some day I'll actually be able to understand a little bit of what he is saying. 

2.) The fact he calls me "baby" in the way I call him "baby" because its distinctly my way and he has fully embraced it.

3.) The willingness to give me a back rub when my back is killing me after a long day of work and never asking for one in return.

4.) His understanding of my Starbucks addiction and the time he surprises me by re-loading my card because he knows I waste too much money on it.

5.) How he will never ask me to pay and is always shocked when I pull out my card before he does. He always puts me first.

6.) The way he loves his mom. He would take a bullet for her!

7.) His shyness of speaking of his accomplishments. While I know he can brag, he can also be the most humble man. 

8.) His comments that bring tears to my eyes about how thankful he is for me, how beautiful I am compared to all the other girls in the world, how lucky he is he got me, and so many more wonderful comments.

9.) The fact he is the first man I've dated that I haven't tried to run from because I fully trust him and can't imagine one day without him.

10.) How he tries to treat me like a princess by taking me to fancy dinners or planning extravagant outings even though he knows I'd be happy with pizza and a One Tree Hill Marathon.

11.) Speaking of One Tree Hill, the fact he is totally engrossed by the show and looks forward to watching it as much as I do.

12.) His willingness to let me get my way and watch One Tree Hill instead of watching the new Top Gear.

13.) The fact he wants me to continue to surprise him with lottery tickets even though each one I buy is never a winner.

14.) His willingness to listen to me talk about everything that's on my mind and then gives me encouragement to do whatever I think is best because he just wants me happy.

I could probably go on for hours and hopefully in another 6 months I'll be giving you even more reasons on why I love him so I'll save it for later.

Enjoy the sappiness while I enjoy the batting cages!


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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Current Thoughts

I've got to say it. I have missed blogging. For the last few months it seems like I've written one post a month and I miss my every day blogging. But I also haven't had any ideas to write about. I've been writing paper after paper for school and it seems like it takes all the words I have to say even if they are not the words I want to write about. I haven't stopped reading my favorite blogs and I am a little jealous that they do not have to waste all their words writing papers. 

I guess I am back in the mode again where I am questioning whether being in school is a good idea or not. I've been considering taking a semester off to see what it would be like, but I don't like the idea of being a semester behind. I keep coming back to the curiosity of if I will actually become a counselor after I graduate or not. Yes, I like what I am learning, but I guess I am wondering if that is enough to keep me going. I'm good at school. I get my assignments in on time, I do my best to pay attention in class, and I am letting what I am learning sink in.

Its just so mundane. I've been at this for 17 years now. That's a long time to be studying, sitting at a desk or table, and listening to someone else teach you about the one thing you want to do. And then I realize any thing I really want to do requires time in school. If I stopped doing counseling, I'd want to be an event planner, but that also requires more time in school. I also want to get into the matchmaking field but that also requires some kind of certificate. 

I don't want to work in the restaurant industry forever. Yes, the money is really great, but its not become mundane. Maybe I am just nervous that counseling will become mundane after I spend a few years in the field. Maybe I am nervous that I'll never be satisfied? The thoughts are overwhelming. With school, these are constantly running through my head. It's a lot to hold altogether. 

And this is where I've come to:


I'm not sure what feels right at the moment, but I'm looking to discover it.
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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Cruisin'

Well, my boyfriend convinced me over Christmas that we should book a cruise. 
He spent an extensive time trying to find one in my price range and booked it.
It just so happened to be during the week I had off from school and left from L.A. which meant I could stop and see one of my best friends on the way. 
It was so relaxing and so fun.
I gambled, sang karaoke, laughed a lot, and enjoyed spending my first week non-stop with my man.


This is me by the blow hold in Ensenada.


Brad and I in front of the water on Catalina.


Our ship the inspiration. Such beautiful water on Catalina. 

This beauty took us everywhere. 


 "This is my happy face." Finally found a Starbucks and I was so happy, if you couldn't tell. 

Catalina-we walked around the city and found these beautiful flowers. 


La Bufadora- This is the tourist shopping in Ensenada. Brad held my hand the whole time so the shoppers couldn't convince me to come in. 


Another beautiful view of Ensenada. 


Thank God for a man who likes to take pictures. I only took pics in Cali and I am too lazy to upload them. This was a panoramic of Ensenada and no I was not posing like that on purpose. I just happened to be such an explorer. 

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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Oh Seattle

Yeah, yeah I've been missing for a while, but I am not sorry.
I'm busy with life and school and everything else.
Who knew I'd put this blog to the side because living life is so much fun?

Just thought I'd catch you up on what I've been thankful for.

1.) Birthday Spoiling. 
My man and his family thoroughly spoiled me this weekend. Great gifts, lavish dinner, and jumping around was the best. So thankful to have another family to celebrate with while away from my own. 

2.) Reusable Starbucks Cup
This sucker was a gift for my birthday and saves me 10 cents every time I use it. Plus I feel like an Eco-friendly person. So double woo!

3.) Vacation!
That's right! I'm getting on a plane to L.A. to visit one of my besties and then jumping on a cruise to Mexico for a week. I give you permission to be jealous. I am sure I'll be jealous of you someday.

4.) Spring Like Winter Days
Today has been so beautiful. It was even warm enough to walk outside without a coat on, but I still wore a sweater. I also love that my school is right on the water with an awesome view of the mountains.

5.) School
Yeah, it's hard work, but I think I am finally glad I stuck with it. I am passionate about this work and whether I become a counselor afterwards or not is not of importance at the moment.

What are you loving about life?
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Friday, January 3, 2014

Thoughts in My Head

When Christmas break roles around, I tend to find myself thinking a lot about everything.
Lately the thoughts have been about school and the future.
For some reason, I am having such a hard time wanting to be in school and finish it.
Maybe it's because I needed to take a year off, but then I think about working in a restaurant full-time and I have no desire whatsoever to do that. 

I spent two hours yesterday looking at jobs that I would be willing to drop out of school for, but they all resulted in me needing a masters. Being in school is the only way I can do my dream and it's a little frustrating. I have always been a hands own learner. Lecturing has never been my way of learning. While I love what I am being taught, I want to run out the door and use it.
Yes, of course I can do exactly that, but I want to start my future. I want to start counseling and working the 9-5 hours. Is that weird?

"The best things in life cannot be rushed."
"Don't rush something you want to last forever."

Is it wrong that I want to rush through grad school so I can finally start what I have been working on so hard for the last five years? I just want to start the dream that is in my head.

I am loving life and where I am at, but its hard to stop my mind from wondering about whats to come. I finished my first semester much better than I thought which is encouragement to keep going.

Am I the only 22 year old feeling this way or is this exactly what every 22 year old goes through at this age?



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Wednesday, January 1, 2014

January Goals

I've got some big goals this year, but let's start small.

This month my goals are:

1.) Do not buy any new clothes except possibly a new swim-suit. ---My closet has plenty of nice things in it and while I always think it could use more I'd like to not spend any money on it.

2.) Do not eat out unless on date night. By far I waste too much money eating out and not cooking at home. Thanks to the boyfriends mother I have a new crock-pot and want to make more meals at home.

3.) Drink 60 oz. of water a day. I drink too much caffeine and my body feels it. It's time to be better to my body in that department. 

4.) Pay at least $100 towards my undergrad loans. They have already accumulated interested and I'd like to start the process of paying some of it back.

Any loan paying processes you suggest for a graduate student who works part time?
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