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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Mending the church first

Tonight at church I was very distraught. After having a conversation with a friend, I was amazed at how much damage was being done within the church by the people in the church. My friend was so tired of all the damge that she is ready to leave the church. She is going to leave the place where God is supposed to dwell. We, the people of the church, are pushing the people in the church out when we are supposed to be bringing them in. I will take the blame for this too. There have been too many times when I will whisper to the person sitting next to me and gossip about someone sitting in service.

How are we supposed to bring people into the church when we are pushing people out of the church? It completely blows my mind how the church has become a mini-high school or middle school. The same troubles that students are dealing with in school can be found in the church. People spreading lies about each other, picking on each other etc. We are reflections of Christ. What are we reflecting? Are we reflecting that it is alright to gossip? That it is alright to sleep around? That it is alright to tear each other down?

I find this problem at every church I attend. Maybe we should start mending the broken relationships inside the church before we start trying to mend the hearts of the real broken people. Pin It

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Power of a Piece of Paper and a Pen

Have you ever thought how powerful a piece of paper and a pen are? I never did until tonight. By connecting pen to a paper a story is formed. Words are written and feelings are shared. Writing has always been a passion of mine. I get these urges to form these words in my mind and to pull them out of my mind and on to something visible. Something that I can see with my own eyes.

A pen and paper can share feelings and emotions too. You can express yourself in a way that everyone can read. Maybe some people read exactly what you are feeling or they read it in a way that translates it to mean something else.

It's quite amazing!

I know you're probably thinking what is wrong with this girl, but let me tell you where I get this crazy urge to write from. I just went and saw Letters to Juliet and it is a movie that I would recommend to any one. It was funny and I believe beautifully acted. It is the first movie in a while the completely pulled me in and had me wanting to see what happened next in every scene. It also kepts me guessing. Anyways, in the movie girls from all over the world come to Verona to write their letter to Juliet. Then a group of women take the letters written to Juliet and relpy. There words can help change, encourage, or strengthen girls all over the world searching for their Romeo.

So this got me thinking. What if I did this? What if I just had an adress that was available to people. People could write their concerns, fears, wants, desires, feelings, and so much more. And what if I responded? What if I encouraged them to pursue their dreams, their wants, their desires? What if I encouraged them to be bold, to have faith, to live their life to the fullest? What if? I was inspired to do what God has called me to do. I believe I am an encourager. Is being an encourager an actual thing? I think so! I may not always think the most positively, but I do believe in the unbelievable and the impossible. I believe that we can all have our own Romeo and Juliet story. Sure, it may not be the exact plot, but we all have a love story written for us. I believe and I encourage.

So here it goes. This is my school adress. I know right now no one currently reads my blog, but maybe this is the day someone does. Maybe you need some encouragement or direction. You don't have to take what I say to heart, but I promise to write you back with the words I hope you need.

Rachel Jones
1100 East Fifth Street
Anderson, IN 46012

Write me! Pin It

Monday, July 19, 2010

Me? A Letter? From God? NO WAY!

I was at church two weeks a go when the preacher said something that caught my attention. He said something along the lines that we are all letters from God and that idea intrigued me. I've heard all my life that the bible is a love letter sent from God and I think that is the best love letter I have ever read, but then I think about how we are also love letters sent from God. God sent us to our parents, to our friends, and to the strangers in this world.

This also got me to wondering what my letter says. I know at times my letter probably had a note on the front of it saying, "Do not read this letter. It is filled with lies and ugliness." and I am alright to admit that is the letter I have sent out before. I know I am supposed to be an ambassador for God, but this world just brings me down sometimes. I forget that I was not created for here; I was created for someplace else. I get lost in the pressures the world presents to me everyday and the next thing I know I am in the mud trying to dig myself out and then there is God. He pulls me right out and puts me on dry ground.

I guess the point on this post is to remind us that we all our God's letters. We have to be careful in what we are putting on to that letter because we don't want to send out the wrong words. But also remember that we make mistakes. We need to help each other write our letters and be the example God has told us to be, but we cant tear people down. We need to hold each other and lend a hand when we are in the mud. Pin It

Friday, July 16, 2010

Holding on to my dreams

In January, I applied for two great opportunities. One was with an internship in Alaska for the summer and the other was to be an RA for this coming year. In February, I was introduced to the word, "No." Two BIG No's. Since then I have been suffering with those two decisions that were decided for me. All I could do was let these individuals look at my life and decide whether they wanted me on their team. I was upset with these decisions for a long, long time. Before the college process, I had always given up on my dreams. I dreamed of being drum-major, gave it up. I dreamed of being in the top 10 in my class, gave it up. I never had the confidence I needed to believe I could achieve these goals and I always regretted that.

When I started to apply for college, I was the most scared I had ever been. What if I wasn't accepted anywhere? What if I'm not smart enough? The first letter of whether I was accepted or not came and it increased my fear tremendously. It was another No. I started to panic as to what I would do with my life if school was not an option for me. Fortunately, the next letter I got was from Anderson University and it was a YES! From there out, all the acceptance letters I got were Yes's and the school that said No eventually turned to a Yes too. I was amazed at how amazing and faithful God was in helping my dreams come true.

So, in the fall I made my journey to Anderson. When second semester came around, I knew which dream I would accomplish next. I would become an RA! I went through the whole process and felt good about everything. I thought my interviews went well and I felt like I was completely honest with everyone. I wasn't perfect and I wasn't afraid to admit that to them.

Over Christmas break, I began to desire to do something more with my summer than just work after my sophmore year of college. So I found some Christian websites that showed the variety of Christian related internships and I found one that was too good to pass up. So I applied for the coming summer. The whole summer in Alaska! I completed the application and the interview and felt that God was really calling me to this.

Then rolled in February. My birthday came, my first valentines with a boyfriend; nothing seemed like it could bring me down. The last week in February proved me wrong. I had made it into the top 2 for Alaska for the girl's choice, but I was not selected. I was bummed, but I was also happy because that meant I could spend the summer at home and that I could still apply for it next year (which I was encouraged to do).

Next came the RA letters. My friends and I had planned to met at the mail center at school. I arrived first and was too anxious to wait for them so with my roomie by my side I opened the letter. I just knew it was going to be a yes. It was my dream, my goal, and my desire to be an RA. I began to read those first words and I felt my smile turn downward. I had been selected as an Alternate. If anyone would decide to not be an RA, I could have the chance to fill their spot. Even though it was not a complete No, all I heard was "NO!" My friends came and asked if I had gotten the position and I sadly told them no, but I was eager to see if they had made it. Well, to my surprise, they all recieved a Yes. I wasn't surprised as in I think they didn't really deserve it, I was surprised in the fact that I was the only one given a No. I left the group to get to class and I felt that one tear fall.

My dreams had been crushed...

I wrestled for God for a couple months after that. I went back and forth with accepting the decisions that had been given to me. Some days I knew it was for the best, but most days I just did not understand it. Eleanor Roosevelt said this, "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face...You must do the thing you think you cannot." I had faced fear in the face. Where was that strength? Courage? Confidence?

It was not until this week when I realized where that strength, courage, and confidence was. It has been inside me all along, but I have been hiding it from myself because I did not want to accept that God had something better for me. I thought what I went for was what was BEST for me.

After not being selected for RA, I was offered a poistion as a DC (Dicipleship Coordinator). I gladly accepted since I wanted to be on a leadership role in some way on campus. All summer I have been reading a bible study that I think I want to do with the girls on my floor and todays devotion showed me just what I have needed to see. These is a part from the lesson today:

"Hold on to your dreams! God is Ironic sometimes-What you might view as a set back, God just may be using to shape you into the person you are meant to be."

I can't deny that God has used these two No's to shape me into the person he has designed me to be. I accept these two No's with a thanful heart now. I will wait on God's timing for my life and I know he will do great works withint me.

"Hold fast to the vision God has given you for your life. The difficult things we go through one to prepare us for the realization of the vision on God's timing and by his power! I will not deny the vision that God has given me even when the circumstances seem to contradict it." Dr. Llyod John Ogilvile. Pin It

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Questions and a Pit Stop

My life feels somewhat empty right now. It's filled with God, but its lacking the Passion I desperately want. I just keep filling up my mind with questions.

Where am I going?
What do I do know?
When will I meet you?
Why is this so hard?
Where is that fire I'm longing for?
Why can't I get out of this rut?

The questions go on forever.

I wonder where I'm headed. The direction isn't quite clear right now. Just six months ago I was pretty sure of where I was going, but road bumps have made me pull to the side. The first road bump was ending my relationship with T*. I was pretty sure he and I were headed for a long life together, but God had a different set of plans for me. The second bump was Lizzie leaving. I knew the day would eventually come, but I never knew it would be so soon, so fast, and so sudden. I only had a month to accept the fact she was leaving and I had a whole year planned out for us in my head. Now all I can do is wait for her to come home at Christmas and hopefully I can scrounge up so many to take a visit to Florida to see here.

They say things get easier with time, but I've got to be honest. This has been one of the hardest summers for me and it is definately affecting me emotionally a lot. I miss these relationships I had a lot. Although I know God ending T and I's relationship and seperating Lizzie and I is for the best, it is still hard to accept it.

But even with all of that happening, I know God is working in my life. I knew after Lizzie left that I would need to be more assertive with my life. I had to stop being afraid of doing things on my own. So I did just that. I've rekindled a friendship that was put on hold for a while and I'm realizing how much my college friends mean to me and how I need to befriend more students at Anderson. I am ready to go back to school because I know God has an amazing year planned for me.

I also went to church by myself this week. I should clarify that on Sunday mornings I go to the church my dad works at and then on Sunday nights I would go to church with Lizzie. I told her I probably wouldn't go anymore because I basically only went to hang out with her, but I went this week and I was happy I did. Sure, going to church alone is awkward and weird, but I realize that going to church is not for the social gathering, that is just a plus side of it. It's about going to seek God and learn more and I get that when I go.

I may have these questions, but God is working and moving me. I may feel like I've made a pit stop right now, but that is only so I could re-examine the map God has laid out for my life. God is moving! Pin It

Monday, July 12, 2010

A penny for my thoughts...

Lately, I have been inspired to write a lot which is good because I find I write the most often when God is working in my life the most. I've wanted to write to the extent of writing a book, but I just have too many ideas that I get lost in each of them and don't write clearly. Another song has inspired this post. The Band Perry sings a song called "If I die young," and I absoloutely love the song. It is country and, to me, sounds like a christian song all at the same time which as my dad thinks is the perfect combination for me. I will have to agree. I have always been drawn to southern roots and my family will never let me live that down. I am the country girl of the family and even though I am only from Indiana and I have never grown up in the country I could fit in to the country life style (as long as there is a Target and Starbucks near by).

Anyways, this line in the song says, "A penny for my thoughts oh no I'll sell them for a dollar. They're worth so much more after I'm a gonner. And maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singing. It's funny when your dead how people start listening. " That line speaks to me so much every time I listen to the song. It is amazing how people start listening when people die. Why is that? I don't know, but I don't want my life to fall into this same category.

I am not saying people should listen to everything I say because I know that I am way out of line at times or I have no idea what I'm talking about. But even with that, I have words worth hearing. I shouldn't have to be 85 for someone to listen to me. I may be young, but I have a point of view different from others. I am not like you; therefore, I think differently from you. We all deserve to be heard. We don't have to take what each other says and place it into our life, but we can at least give the respect of acknowleding each other and our thoughts.

One verse that reminds me of not letting be young keep you from speaking and is from 1 Timothy 4:11-14

"Get the word out. Teach all these things and don't let anyone put you down because you're young. Teach believes with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. Stay at your post reading scripture, giving counsel, teaching. And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed, keep that dusted off and in use." Pin It

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Filling the holes

At church tonight we talked about letting go to addictions or idols that are in our lives and the pastor said something that made me understand how to truly give up addictions and idols in our lives. Addictions/Idols take up space in our hearts and when we push them out of our hearts and life they leave holes in your heart.

Whenever I let go of an addiction/idol I just simple let it go and when those idols/addictions may have come back I was always surprised. Tonight I realized though that when I let go of those idols/addictions I have to fill the holes they leave with God.

Why it took me nine years to figure that out? I have no idea, but I am glad I did! Pin It

Saturday, July 10, 2010

If you knew me, you would know...

I've been watching MTV a lot lately because they have been showing all of The Hills shows and it is one of my favorite shows. Well one of the comercials that keeps being shown on that channel has students saying "If you knew me, you would know..." and then they go on to say something you would know about them. So it inspired me to do just that.

If you knew me, you would know that I love giraffes, the color purple, and painting my nails. If you knew me, you would know that I am a Christian, I go to Anderson University, and I live for God. If you knew me, you would know that I am neither a morning or night person. I am an afternoon person. If you knew me, you would know that I tend to watch reality t.v. shows even though they are garbage. I just think the drama is so silly. If you knew me, you would know that I love pictures, but hate taking them because I'm afraid I'll miss out on something while behind the lens. If you knew me, you would know that I love to read and I will re-read books that I love over and over again. If you knew me, you would know that I love jewlery a lot. I have too much to actually wear all the time, but yet I always find myself buying more. If you knew me, you would know that I am half british. My british grandmother is one of my best friends and is a complete hoot! She can always make me laugh and give the best advice ever. If you knew me, you would know that I used to play the flute, I play the piano, and will learn the guitar very soon. If you knew me, you would know that I love sea shells. Whenever someone goes to the beach, I always ask them to bring me back seashells. If you knew me, I always want to write a song but usually can only get a chorus out and thats it. If you knew me, you would know that I played soccer for 8 years and loved every single second of it and miss it very much. If you knew me, you would know that I am a work-a-holic. It's hard for me to have a day off because I feel like I should be working. If you knew me, you would know that I drop my phone once a day. Not on purpose, but because I am very clumsy.

Well there is tons to know about me, but I think that is a pretty good list for now. Pin It

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Coming Home

Like my last post said, I've been feeling lost. I heard this song today that really tore at my heart and expressed the words that I have been trying to find and say. Come Home by OneRepublic. I encourage you to listen to it to understand what I'm talking about.

I'm sure this song was probably writting for a girl, but when I hear the lyrics I think of God. I imagine myself singing most of the verses and then God singing the chorus' back to me. Telling me to come home because he misses me and knows that there is a better part of me. I've been searching in all the wrong places for something to fill these emptiness inside of me. I'm constantly getting lost in all this world has to offer. But what does it really have to offer? Nothing that will fill me up. You'd think being a Christian that I would always remember that, but I have been fighting this battle since day one.

It's hard to wake up everyday and realize that this place I live in is not my real home. It's all temporary. It's also hard to wake up live each day God wants me to live it. Some days I want to be selfish or in a bad mood. It's also hard to remember that I can't make it through each day without God's help. One quality that I love and dislike about myself is that fact that I am very independent. I love being able to have the confidence to do things on my own and not needing help all the time, but I also dislike the fact that being independent causes a lot of struggle in my life too. I want to do it all on my own, but I can't. I can't lift a 100 tons by myself or run my life by myself. And that is exactly what I have been doing. I've been holding so hard on to the reigns in my life that God has not even had the chance to take over.

I'm sure I will say these a billion times before my time on this world is over, but starting today I am handing those reigns over to God. I need him and I cannot live without him. You've always been in my heart, but not completel controlling every area of it. Well, it is all yours now. Take my heart and fill me up for I am yours.

"The Lord will gaurd your going out and your coming out from this time forth and forever." Psalm 121:8 Pin It

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Lost

Well this is the first time I am blogging on this site, so hello to anyone who reads this. I am just a college student that enjoys writting about her passion, heart, and life. I am a Christian and God inspires a lot of my writing. I am not perfect, and I am still learning what it means to lay down your cross everyday. There's a little about me.

It's been day one without my best friend and I feel lost. My life is still rolling, but she is no longer less than 5 miles away. Now she is 13.5 hours and at least a 1000 miles away. I don't just feel lost because she has moved either. I feel lost in the sense that I have no idea which path to choose for my life right now. There are so many paths I could take right now they all seem like great options, but there is not one yelling "Pick me! Pick me!"

I also have felt ashamed lately. The path I keep finding myself on is not the path for me, but I find it very difficult to get off of it. I get off and then I get back on it. I just need to have the strength to stay off of it, but for some reason that strength is not completely there.

Another part of my life right now is this desire to lead again and it would be a bigger step of leadership for me. Purity is definately a passion of mine. I love all the purity retreats that I have been on and I miss attending them. My church was supposed to have one this year, but it did not happen. So I have been thinking I should step up the plate and plan it. These two quotes are what inspire me to take that step.

"We are all faced with a serious of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations." C. Swindoll

"If I find myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that I was made for another world." C. S. Lewis

If the purity retreat happens, you will hear all about it. This blog will probably hold all my ideas for it. So if you are reading this, pray for me. Pray I have the strength to get off this path and to take that next step to start the purity retreat. Pin It