Day 2: Dear Crush

Dear Crush,

We only interact on occasion, but I love our banter and the way you can make me laugh. I only know your first name and I always hope to run into you whenever I am home. I hope to some day maybe get to know you better. Who knows maybe you're completely wrong for me, but maybe you're completely right. I guess I will continue to leave it up to fate and hope that you will notice me the way I notice you and if you do that you will have the courage to get to know me. Pin It

Day one: My Best Friends

A very dear friend of mine was doing a letter challenge for 30 days and I decided to take it on as well. I have many best friends so sorry for the length.

-Where do I even start? Our relationship has definitely been a roller coaster, but a blessing as well. In high school, we were inseparable. We fought every day and sometimes we went days without really talking because we were so mad, but yet we still remained best friends. And now college. It's been a tough thing for our friendship, but it doesn't mean I love you any less. I was certain our friendship was coming to an end, but God has knit us together at the heart and whether we want to admit or not we need each other. I love you and can't wait to go to Newport Beach together and to finally find our Todd's!

-And you win the role for best supporting actor! No matter where we are in life, I know that I can always come to you and you will support me 100%. I love how you can make me laugh constantly and how we can hang out with each other and have the best day ever even if we don't say a word to each other. I'm bummed I don't get to see you everyday like we did in high school, but you'll always be my best friend and maybe my maid of honor? :)

-You are the only person I could live with! I am so glad college brought us closer together and that God blessed me with someone I know will be in my life forever. You help me stop freaking out and are the best listener I have ever met. I love our late night talks and how we understand each other most of the time. I'm so excited for the rest of the adventures we are going to go own together! Love you!

-Oh my pool playing friend. As much as you drive me crazy, I absolutely love how we cry, laugh, and find joy together in almost everything. We can both talk and talk and not have a clue what each other is saying, but we leave feeling like we had the best conversation ever. You help me see different point of views and constantly encourage me. Thanks for always being there and being ready to have fun at any moment.

-Best friends since third grade! You can just make me laugh, laugh, and laugh. I love how most of the time we are just goofing off, but we have some of the deepest conversations. I'm so glad God brought us back together and that we can share this awesome journey together. I am ready to keep saying best friends since third grade for the rest of my life and adding in tons of memories!

-AP! One hug from you and my day can turn around. I love how we never have been in one fight and that we are constantly making sure each of us chases our dreams. Our dad's were best friends and now we can be best friends and hopefully our children will be best friends as well. I love you tons! Pin It

Run

Well, maybe you know this maybe you don't, but I am a huge fan of Taylor Swift. I think that I am the brunette version of her except the fact I do not have a record deal and do not write hit songs, but today I was Taylor Swift. I had the wavy, curly hair and I was feeling inspiration all around.

-Side note, I watched the the E! Hollywood Story: Taylor Swift. That probably created to my Taylor Swift mood and attitude.

Anyways, again maybe you know this maybe you don't, but I run (not like exercising) most of the time because I'm scared. I especially run when it comes to relationships with guy and I can admit that. I do not want to be hurt and I am scared of allowing someone to even get a piece of my heart. So in the end, I just run away. I end it and I believe all of my relationships were meant to end. I mean why would I run if it was meant to be, but I do believe that if I would have given this one guy a little more time it may have turned out differently. So I wrote this about him. Now be prepared this is no hit song ballad like Taylor Swift, but it's the closest I'm going to get.

I never saw this coming
I never knew my heart could feel this way
About a boy who was only
Only in my life to be a friend

But sooner or late
These feelings come
And I can't help myself
But...

(Chorus)
Run
As fast as you can
Just run
Until you're safe again
Cause the pain is slowly creeping in
And a chance for risk is near the end
So run
Just run

You always made me happy
In so many ways that I could never explain
Though you may not believe it
I'd take you back over and over again

But sooner or later
These feelings would come
And I couldn't help myself
But...

(Chorus)

(Bridge)
I'm sorry now
But I've got to go
Your eyes are telling me your real close
To saying those three words
I promised I would never say
Again

So run
Just as fast as you can
Please run
Until you're safe again
Cause the pain for you is coming near
And I never wanted you to hear
So run
Just run

(Chorus)

So run
Just run
Until you're safe again
Cause the pain is slowly creeping in
And the time for us is near its end
So run
Just run Pin It

Merry Christmas!

Well it is now Christmas, but I wanted to tell you about my Christmas Eve.

Christmas eve is time that should be spent preparing for the holidays, enjoying cooking with the family, enjoying time with the family, but that is not what I was doing. Instead, I was preparing for a crazy night at work. Making a list, checking it twice, trying to decide which table is going to be right, people were coming to the restaurant tonight! (Sung to the tune "Santa Clause is Coming to Town") It was hectic, crazy, and a tad disappointing.

In my mind people would be friendly, flexible, and thankful; instead we had angry, upset, and unappreciative. Servers sacrificed their time away from family to serve these gifts and they were treated unfairly. Even being a hostess I was treated unfairly. I was blamed for not seating people at the table I was "supposed" to know they wanted to sit at. I was the one to be disappointed in for not providing a "spectacular" evening for their family and them.

By the end of the night I was just mad, confused, and ready to go home. Where was the Christmas spirit? I was anticipating a fun and easy night (it was fun and a lot more easy than other holidays, but boy was I not prepared for this night) with happy people all around. I had one more hour of work left and then I could head home for two days off of work and I could not wait.

This couple came up to me and I was expecting them to be upset with me. First, the table I sat them at is probably every one's least favorite that come to the restaurant. It's in a corner surrounded by bigger tables and by the bathroom. Second, when we went to seat them the table was not cleaned so they stood and watched the other hostess clean their table (doesn't sound like a big deal, but people get very upset about that). But the couple sat down and I did not hear one peep from them until they left. While I prepared my self for "nasty" words, I was shocked to hear these words with a smile, "That was the best meal ever. Thank you so much for being open tonight, really, it was great. Thanks again and Merry Christmas."

And that made my whole night. To know out of 200 people we served tonight, that at least two were thankful we were sacrificing our time and sharing it with them. I know Thanksgiving is the day to be Thankful, but I think Christmas can add that aspect on to it.

So thank you to the wonderful couple who appreciated us tonight, thank you to my co-workers for cooperating and not yelling at me, and thank you to my family that always listens to me talk their ears off about things of zero importance to them.

Remember that Jesus is the reason for the season! Merry Christmas to you who are reading this and thanks for taking the time to listen as well. Pin It

What's in a name?

If your name was in the dictionary, what words would define you? Happy, joyful, sad, dissapointed, laughing, lost, confused, searching, wanting, looking, serious, funny, mean, disgusting, content, appreciative, kind....

There's so many words that define us today. I have been filling out applications for summer camp jobs and they ask what can you offer or tell me about your life story. And then they give you a little space.

First problem, that is not enough space. I've almost been alive for 20 years. Each year could be a book itself, yet they still ask you about your life. I just find it funny that you need to tell them on paper with a pen about your life. Shouldn't I show you by my actions?

Second, these applications are looking for great answers and positive words. I guess I just have a problem with the definition of what a great answer is and what makes words positive. So here's what I mean. One application gave me two words and told me which one to choose that best suits me. Decisive or Submissive. Where's the both? Decisive is the best choice. Submissive is the negative word. Well, I'm both and I believe submissive can be a positive word. I can make decisions, but I can also go along with someone elses decision. Now that's not a super great example of what I am talking about.

Another question they ask on the applications is if you have ever been convicted of a crime. Well, I haven't but I know if I circled yes then that would most likely rule me out. But like they say there is beauty in a making. I have heard the best conversion stories from individuals who have been convicted of a crime. You learn from living even if that meant you weren't living the way other's think is acceptable.

Here's the point: We all have negative and positive words that define us. Just remember each of those words have made you who you are. Some of those words may have been the word that used to describe you the best, but has been replaced because you find a new word to define you. So if you have the words lost, confused, searching, or desperate, wear them proud. They may have been associated as "negative" words, but those words are making you into the person you were called to be.

P.S. my post about forgiveness: I have never felt more free. It really works. Try it! Pin It