My Current Status

Oh my rollercoaster of emotions .

Some days it feels like nothing can weigh me down and other days I am dragging my baggage.

The sunshine has been my friend lately, but the rainy days bring in the past.

I wonder about the what ifs and what could have happened.

I know you are not supposed to dwell on the past, but sometimes it's too difficult not to.

You run past a park that reminds you or you eat at a restaurant that you associate with someone.

There are so many things that just remind you and make you wonder.

And it's not only with the past, but with the future as well.

What is to come; what will be?

My curiosity is killing me. I just want to know.

Can I please just have a book with my life mapped out?

I know its impossible and it would take away the excitement of life if it was real, but I'd at least like to have a better idea of what's ahead.

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My Current Status

If you could not tell from my last current status, I was having a rough time.

I was experiencing a break-up that came out of no-where for me and him. It was my decision, but I was not expecting to make it. The whole situation was confusing for me and I know him, but I believe the decision was for the best.

I sometimes wonder why certain people are allowed close to our hearts when they may not last. I've experienced heartbreak before, but this was unlike one I have ever felt. It reminded me that my heart has some interesting stories it could share.

I still find myself asking why and was it right, but I'm leaning on the belief that time heals all wounds. I've also been leaning on faith and trust in God.

I've been finding myself fearful of my move to Seattle. I have yet to find a place to live or a person to live with and that makes me nervous. I haven't had to worry about finding someone to live with for the last four years and now I am moving across the country to no home and few people I know.

My faith is at its strongest right now and I am trying to rely on God's timing.

Through the ups and downs you find the place you run to in need of help, I am thankful God is that person and that he always welcomes me with open arms.

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My current status

Sometimes life is just hard. It's filled with hurt, pain, loss, and confusion.

It can seem never-ending and it is filled with constant questioning.

Is this right? Is this wrong? What if? Why? What's the point?

And sometimes the answers take time to form.

And sometimes that time is years in the making.

With the time you wonder, is the difficulty worth it?

How will I know when the answer comes?

And then I am reminded each day the sun rises and sets.

Each day a life is a given and a life is taken.

Each day a tear is shed and a smile is shared.

Each day an angry remark is made and forgiveness is given.

Each day is new and holds a different plan.

And that plan is decided by a strong and mighty individual.

I do not always have the answers or the understanding, but I have the faith that someone is watching over me and mapping my life out. I may not always agree with what is in store for me, but I know it all contributes to the person he wants me to become.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."

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