When I graduated from high school, I was given a box of letters from friends and family. Some of the letters spoke of memories, wishes, and thanks. Every year I read these letters again to remind myself of those dreams, memories, and to be thankful for the thanks.
While reading the letters today, I was reminded of the person God called me to be. I've always known, but there is something about hearing it from someone who is not you. My heart was able to be read by other's. They understood my dreams, desires, my passion, and my heart. I wonder if they can still see it. Am I still being the bold Christian everyone said I was? Do I still speak my mind? Will I be serving middle school and high school students?
These letters inspired me to remember the person I allowed God to make me. It reminded me to keep seeking, to not weaken and keep pushing on, to be the open book I always was.
Overall, I remembered I am blessed. I am blessed to have people who influenced my life for a season or a lifetime. I am blessed to have friends who appreciate me. And I am blessed to have a family who loves me at no cost and with their whole heart.
Blessed. Blessed. Blessed.
Pin It
Friday, May 20, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Crush to Crushed
Oh the life of a girl. It's amazing how we can create a whole story in our heads and then reality hits us.
Example:
Girl thinks boy is cute and boy seems interested, but in a nonchalant way. So girl assumes he is interested and lets her mind wander. What if he asked me to hang out today? What if he asking everyone else about me? How long has he liked me? etc, etc... Girl anticipates facebook request to be accepted because maybe if he accepts that means he likes her and then maybe he he'll get up the nerve to ask her out which could then lead to an engagement and then a wedding (You know how the story goes). Facebook request is accepted. Girl clicks on page to see more information. Dun. Dun. Dun! Boy has a girlfriend.
Not that I'm referring to any such story in my life ;)
But boys be careful. Girls can take one hint of affection and run with it. Remember to guard their hearts along with yours! Pin It
Example:
Girl thinks boy is cute and boy seems interested, but in a nonchalant way. So girl assumes he is interested and lets her mind wander. What if he asked me to hang out today? What if he asking everyone else about me? How long has he liked me? etc, etc... Girl anticipates facebook request to be accepted because maybe if he accepts that means he likes her and then maybe he he'll get up the nerve to ask her out which could then lead to an engagement and then a wedding (You know how the story goes). Facebook request is accepted. Girl clicks on page to see more information. Dun. Dun. Dun! Boy has a girlfriend.
Not that I'm referring to any such story in my life ;)
But boys be careful. Girls can take one hint of affection and run with it. Remember to guard their hearts along with yours! Pin It
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Here's my mind
I have had a lot of time to think lately with school being done so bare with me...
1.) Religion rejects; God does not.
Not sure why this thought never occurred to me, but I have been reading a book called "Messy Spirituality" and this thought occurred to me. I have heard so many people talk about how they don't go to church because they feel rejected. It's a shame that religion is pushing people away and people are blaming it on God, but we "Christians" are the ones who make them feel that it is God doing it. I am to blame for this. It's easier to run from the spiritually messy people then take the time to get to know them and care for them. I have done it so many times. I think of my spirituality first and how this relationship could affect it. Shame on me! This thought really opened my eyes today.
2.) What is constituted as flirting?
Does throwing a piece of ice at you count? Sometimes I wish my boldness would come across with guys. Instead, my words get jumbled up and my head kind of blanks. I don't even know this guys last name or really anything about him. Sometimes being a girl really stinks. One hello can be translated into a marriage proposal. Girls! Can't live with them or without them!
3.) Where are you?
The you I am referring to would be Mr. For Me. Sometimes waiting for you just seems super long. I mean it has been 20 years so far and granted ten of those years I wasn't even interested in you, but I am now so feel free to come tomorrow or in a week or maybe a month. Is that pushing it? Love you whoever you are!
4.) Spiritually Messy.
That is my life. Reading this book has been eye opening and heart warming for me in a lot of ways and I'm only half way through it.
5.) My dear were slow dancing in a burning room.
Some of the situations I put myself in feel like this. I enter the room knowing I'm going to burn down in it. So why do I enter when I know I'm doomed? You would think I would know by now and had it worked out, but every single day is new for me and I have to start with a new game plan.
6.) Camp!
It's 4 weeks away. I can't wait! Pin It
1.) Religion rejects; God does not.
Not sure why this thought never occurred to me, but I have been reading a book called "Messy Spirituality" and this thought occurred to me. I have heard so many people talk about how they don't go to church because they feel rejected. It's a shame that religion is pushing people away and people are blaming it on God, but we "Christians" are the ones who make them feel that it is God doing it. I am to blame for this. It's easier to run from the spiritually messy people then take the time to get to know them and care for them. I have done it so many times. I think of my spirituality first and how this relationship could affect it. Shame on me! This thought really opened my eyes today.
2.) What is constituted as flirting?
Does throwing a piece of ice at you count? Sometimes I wish my boldness would come across with guys. Instead, my words get jumbled up and my head kind of blanks. I don't even know this guys last name or really anything about him. Sometimes being a girl really stinks. One hello can be translated into a marriage proposal. Girls! Can't live with them or without them!
3.) Where are you?
The you I am referring to would be Mr. For Me. Sometimes waiting for you just seems super long. I mean it has been 20 years so far and granted ten of those years I wasn't even interested in you, but I am now so feel free to come tomorrow or in a week or maybe a month. Is that pushing it? Love you whoever you are!
4.) Spiritually Messy.
That is my life. Reading this book has been eye opening and heart warming for me in a lot of ways and I'm only half way through it.
5.) My dear were slow dancing in a burning room.
Some of the situations I put myself in feel like this. I enter the room knowing I'm going to burn down in it. So why do I enter when I know I'm doomed? You would think I would know by now and had it worked out, but every single day is new for me and I have to start with a new game plan.
6.) Camp!
It's 4 weeks away. I can't wait! Pin It
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Two different people; one person
This week has been extremely crazy emotionally and physically. Final exams and friendship have been the two F's in my life. These two F's have the same effect as they would if they were F's on papers. They made me feel horrible and not good enough.
Finals I am used to. It was my fourth semester of finals and I didn't do horrible, but I also didn't do the best as I usually do. Friendships on the other hand have never been so difficult for me. I'm cautious as to what to say because I know I have friends who read this and I don't want them to take it the wrong way, but this is also my heart and life which is what this blog is all about. So I will slowly tread upon this road with caution...
I'm not sure if there is much road to travel on with in this friendship. I think we have come to the end. There is no going forward or backwards which is sad to say. I feel like I have devoted a lot of myself to this friendship, but that it was only here for a season which has come and past. So where do I or we go from this? That's the part I am not quite sure about. Isaiah 30:21 says "you will hear a voice saying this is the way, walk in it." I don't hear the voice. I just hear the awkward silence. The killing silence. Do we say goodbye; can you ever say goodbye?
My words on this subject keep fading. It never seems to be easy to just let something go. To just say goodbye and be done with it. And your self never makes it easy. It constantly battles with itself and asks questions that confuse you even more than you were before.
All I can say is that I am thankful for a summer to spend with God; serving him, re-devoting myself to him, and listening to his understanding. Pin It
Finals I am used to. It was my fourth semester of finals and I didn't do horrible, but I also didn't do the best as I usually do. Friendships on the other hand have never been so difficult for me. I'm cautious as to what to say because I know I have friends who read this and I don't want them to take it the wrong way, but this is also my heart and life which is what this blog is all about. So I will slowly tread upon this road with caution...
I'm not sure if there is much road to travel on with in this friendship. I think we have come to the end. There is no going forward or backwards which is sad to say. I feel like I have devoted a lot of myself to this friendship, but that it was only here for a season which has come and past. So where do I or we go from this? That's the part I am not quite sure about. Isaiah 30:21 says "you will hear a voice saying this is the way, walk in it." I don't hear the voice. I just hear the awkward silence. The killing silence. Do we say goodbye; can you ever say goodbye?
My words on this subject keep fading. It never seems to be easy to just let something go. To just say goodbye and be done with it. And your self never makes it easy. It constantly battles with itself and asks questions that confuse you even more than you were before.
All I can say is that I am thankful for a summer to spend with God; serving him, re-devoting myself to him, and listening to his understanding. Pin It
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)