Shaken Faith

I am sure I have blogged about this before, but I was reminded on how true this story has affected my spiritual life.

Sophomore year of college my dad lost his job from the church and I lost my faith in God. During the year my leadership role on campus was to be the spiritual leader on my hall which meant planning a weekly bible study for 16 girls. These girls had strong faiths or desires to grow in their walk in God; they were looking to be fed spiritually. I, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with God, church, or spirituality. I also did not want to give up my position and let my girls down.

How can you lead? What are your qualifications now? You can't do this; you'll send the wrong message.

These were the thoughts running through my head. I really had no idea what to do, but I knew I did not have the strength to plan a bible study each week that left an impact. A song about stories touch my heart and I thought, "What if I bring in others to share the faith walk, their struggles, their successes?"

And that is what I did, for the entire semester I had someone I knew come in and share their spiritual story. We heard about divorce, addiction, loneliness, spiritual highs, spiritual lows, and so much more. It was exactly what our floor needed. They needed diversity and ways to connect their stories to someone else. It was moving for them and for me. I ended the last bible study explaining to the girls my spiritual struggle and what I was going through. Little did I know the other girls had similar experiences.

Despite the fact my faith was shaken, I was able to lead and minister through my pain. I am reminded of this event any time I feel like I am being beaten down. My pain has beauty, your pain has beauty; weaving them together produces a beautiful tapestry of love.

Never let your pain keep your from being led or leading.

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