Brave, Courage, and Haunting

You must listen to this song while you read this post so pres PLAY now.

A dear friend and lovely woman said this the other day at orientation:

"I hope courage haunts you."

I was immediately struck at the beauty of that sentence. To be haunted sounds terrifying, but to be haunted by courage sounds like to biggest gift I could ever receive. Bravery has been my life word for the last month. 

If you didn't know, I moved across the country from all familiarity to a city, a huge one to be exact. I came knowing very few people and moved into an area that I had never lived in. I began a job that I had way too many concerns about and constantly face the new environment every day. I also started dating which is just scary by itself. 

Being brave is what wakes me up every day. I have found myself just turning off my alarm and laying in bed trying to convince myself that I can conquer the day. Some days I lay there for a few minutes and others it seems like an hour. All I can do is be brave. 

I've started grad school and I literally wanted to run away the first day. How did I get here? Do I seriously want to study for another three years? The real answer is no. I do not want to be in school for another three years, but the reason I don't want to is because I know there is going to be a lot of change with grad school. I of course chose a program that not only teaches you, but asks you to take what you learn and apply it to your life. Being brave is the only thing pushing me through it.

So for some odd reason I've invited courage and bravery to haunt me. I have asked them to awake me every morning and to push me when I am choosing to stand back. 

I am choosing to be brave.

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