I am Meredith Grey

This week I learned that I am Meredith Grey.

Yes I have been watching the entire series and I am almost to the end of all that Netflix offers with this series and I may be freaking out a little, but really I am in Meredith Grey mode.

This statement has never been so true.

I started this school term hoping to end with a better idea of the direction I am going with all the hard work I have been doing. I thought I would have a game plan for the next two years and I am just more confused than I ever was. 

I am not happy about this fact and I am quite upset that I still do not know which type of counseling I want to pursue for the rest of my life.

I have the trauma side of counseling saying "Pick me, choose me, love me."

Then there's the heart side of counseling or what I like to call the cardiovascular side saying "Pick me, choose me, love me."

Neuro counseling is not far behind it screaming "Pick me, choose me, love me."

And then there's general counseling and I am yelling "Pick me, choose me, love me."

Choosing which area to pursue is important to me, but it's just not easy.

I care about the future I am walking into, I care about the people I will impact, and I care about the time I devote to certain areas of psychology. I simply want to choose the right path for me and the path that will allow me to do the work I was created to do in this world. 

But the fact is that making this choice is not easy. There is no simply right or wrong path to choose; it's much more complicated than that.

And if you're reading this right now wondering what in the world I am talking about, do not worry. I don't understand me either.

I mostly feel like Meredith grey in her decision to pursue general surgery. General psychology means I can work with the trauma side, the heart side, the brain side, and all the other sides there are to psychology. General psychology is my niche. My passions are widespread and it is not right for me to pick one. I just cannot do that! 

And really Meredith Grey and I are the same because we both shave our legs...sometimes.

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To the guests of restaurants...

There's just this little thing I need to get off my chest.

Yesterday a family left me a $0.07 tip. 

This happens usually at least once while working one of my shifts.

It sucks every time, but it is out of my control.

I typically throw a little fit for a minute and then move on reminding myself there are other decent people in this world.

Here's the thing with yesterday though.

I watched this family place at least give $100 bills on the table.

So it wasn't the fact they couldn't afford a tip that was the problem.

The problem they had with me was the silverware.

It was dirty and I had not noticed since I didn't set the table and had a full section.

The mother yelled at me for the silverware being dirty and the complained that it was not rolled in napkins.

These problems she had were out of my control.

I did not set the table and I am not in control of deciding how we display silverware on the tables. So her excuse for leaving me $0.07 was because the silverware was dirty.

For some reason her tip will hit me this time.

To me, it seemed as if she told that my service was only worth $0.07.

And I took it as me not being worthy of even a dollar which wouldn't even be close to a 10% tip. While I know I shouldn't have taken it so hard, the point in sharing that with you is because that's how most servers feel when this happens to them.

She didn't have enough respect to even tell me why she thought I was only worth of a $0.07 tip.

Some servers are in the restaurant industry to make the money that can come with the job.

But some servers, like me, are trying to make means meet or work towards a goal.

I didn't join this industry willingly. I joined it because it meets an always changing school schedule and allows me to live in an expensive city and make my ends meet most months.

And I especially did not join this job for you to tell me what I am worth, but that doesn't stop you from telling me. You think you have a right to define what I am worth, what I am qualified at, and what I deserve. Do you realize you hold in your hands the ability for me to pay my rent, to pay for food, and gas to work?

I know we all work with people who make our jobs miserable at times, who make us want to get ugly in their faces and tell them how we truly feel, and who make us feel like screaming at the top of our lungs. I write this only to remind you the holiday's are coming up. This season is the busiest for the restaurant industry. Sometimes it brings in the most joyous and grateful people around and sometimes it brings in the most ungrateful and rude people around.

If you're going out to eat this holiday season, try to keep in mind that the people serving you are human just like you. They make mistakes, they mess up, and they are trying to survive like you. Also keep in mind, most servers want to ensure you have a quality visit. We do not show up to work with plans to ruin your visit and your meal experience with family. If anything, we just want you to be thankful for us. 

So be joyous, be grateful, and be thankful.

If you cannot leave a tip then at least do the above because all people deserve that.

Sincerely,

The girl just wanting to make your holiday as bright and merry as possible

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Burning Fire To the Life that I Know

That itch has come around for change again.

(Play this if you want to know how I'm feeling while you read.)

Last year the itch was to do something other than school.

Instead of giving up on school, the change came in adding another year on to my schedule to free up more time and allow me to really take in what I am learning.

But nonetheless, the itch is back and it's really itchy.

I've been in the restaurant industry since I started working back in 2008. 

Hostess to server and this is where I've been.

In July, I switched to a new cheesecake factory and I think that got rid of the itch for a while, but now its back.

I won't lie: being a server can bring in a lot of money. 

If it's a good week of serving, I can make $500 in tips which does not include my hourly wage and that's typically a 25 hour work week at the most.

I'm fearful of unleashing that information because of the judgement servers receive for their pay by many.

Making that $500 is not easy and it is not guaranteed. 

On average I get stiffed by at least one table and get treated poorly by at least two during a shift.

I get yelled at for food being cooked wrong or because they are simply having a bad day.

Both are out of my control, yet I reap to anger and resentment. 

The job is draining my energy.

I have little desire to work at the moment.

And the itch is back for something new.

But I'm ignoring it because I'm not sure I can get a better job at the moment.

Being in grad school means you need flexibility with a job and cheesecake is so flexible.

They honor my school schedule, I can typically get a shift picked up if school work becomes too heavy, and the pay is just so good.

My plan is to ignore the itch until the end of the holiday season.

1.) Because it feels wrong of me to leave the restaurant during their busiest season. I've made a commitment to them and I will honor that.

2.) I cannot imagine finding a new job in the midst of the hardest part of my semester. 

But come January, I think I need to find a way to relieve my itch. 

I need a new direction or something new.

But I still need flexibility.

Maybe the itch is a different restaurant to serve at or something completely new to me.

Either way I need something new.

What jobs do you suggest for a student?

What part-time jobs were your favorite growing up?

Where do you suggest I go?

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Brave, Courage, and Haunting

You must listen to this song while you read this post so pres PLAY now.

A dear friend and lovely woman said this the other day at orientation:

"I hope courage haunts you."

I was immediately struck at the beauty of that sentence. To be haunted sounds terrifying, but to be haunted by courage sounds like to biggest gift I could ever receive. Bravery has been my life word for the last month. 

If you didn't know, I moved across the country from all familiarity to a city, a huge one to be exact. I came knowing very few people and moved into an area that I had never lived in. I began a job that I had way too many concerns about and constantly face the new environment every day. I also started dating which is just scary by itself. 

Being brave is what wakes me up every day. I have found myself just turning off my alarm and laying in bed trying to convince myself that I can conquer the day. Some days I lay there for a few minutes and others it seems like an hour. All I can do is be brave. 

I've started grad school and I literally wanted to run away the first day. How did I get here? Do I seriously want to study for another three years? The real answer is no. I do not want to be in school for another three years, but the reason I don't want to is because I know there is going to be a lot of change with grad school. I of course chose a program that not only teaches you, but asks you to take what you learn and apply it to your life. Being brave is the only thing pushing me through it.

So for some odd reason I've invited courage and bravery to haunt me. I have asked them to awake me every morning and to push me when I am choosing to stand back. 

I am choosing to be brave.

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The Serving Life

I have worked in a restaurant for five years.

It's a love-hate relationship. It's the place that I want to be the most some days and then the place I avoid going on others.

I posted a few weeks back about what type of customers your encounter working in this business and now I'd like to share some things you learn in the restaurant.

1.) There is and will always be drama.

No matter what you do to avoid it, it is always there. "This server did this to me" or "can you believe she said that?" Someone is usually mad at another employee and there is constant gossip going around. My best advice is to listen, but do not contribute to it. Your co-workers will respect you for hearing them out and giving them the respect to listen to their frustrations. If you enter into the drama, just be prepared for what comes with it.

2.) Wash that apron! My goodness am I horrible about this. I usually just leave my apron in my car, so when it comes to laundry day I just forget to grab it. But you NEED to wash it! Your customers do not want to see salad dressing stains on your apron. Sure, it makes it seem like you are working hard, but its also just gross.

3.) Sometimes it is better to leave your opinions at home. Being a business major it has been hard for me to keep my mouth shut about how the business is run. Just because I think this is better does not mean everyone else will. Remember who owns the place. Sure, make some suggestions, but don't be demanding about it.

4.) Every server has a "server" voice. When I walk to my table, I have a more caring and kind voice than I do in the kitchen. It just happens. You don't even realize its happening until someone points it out to you. No, it does not mean you're being fake; it just means you need a different tone for certain situations.

5.) Tip others and you reap the rewards. It's my motto to tip other servers or coffee shops because its good karma. It's also the reap and sow parable. I truly believe if you bless others, you will be blessed as well. Even if its only $0.50 at the coffee shop, just do it!

6.) Own your serving skills. I hate big parties. They tip great, but I absolutely hate doing them. 6 or more people and my serving self gets a little freaked out. Everyone I works with knows that, so they always ask me if I want a party or not. You may not work at a restaurant that does this, but I fully believe you should let others know your comfort level. You love 2-4 tops? Great! Tell someone! 

7.) Be gracious and Be real. If you had a table that didn't treat you well, say thank you, but don't fake it. The tables I truly appreciate receive a very sincere and more gracious thanks at the end of service. The tables that make it difficult do not receive as gracious of one. But remember everyone is going through something so keep that in mind when you have a customer who seems disgruntled the entire meal.

8.) There is a whole different language in the restaurant world! 
86=we are out of that item
2 top, 4 top, 6 top, 20 top= the amount of people in the party or size of the table
Those are the two I find myself using in everyday language, but I know there are more.

Any other servers out there? What have you learned to be some life lessons as a server?

P.S. THIS GIRL JUST REGISTERED FOR GRADUATE CLASSES! IS THIS REAL LIFE???



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