Time to Reflect and be Grateful

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Today was a great time with my family. After flying all day Tuesday, I was so grateful to be home and get to see all the people I love and continually miss. The celebrating and time together is still to continue and I plan to do it.

I went on a walk this afternoon to walk off some of the delicious food I ate and I was reminded of Christmas 2010. I have talked about this event multiple times on here, but I have a different perspective this year on it.

December 26, 2010 brought some horrible news for our family. My dad was told to pack up his stuff and leave the job he loved. He was asked to leave his passion. It was difficult and hard, but we chose to be positive and see the good.

For me that did not last long. I tried reading the bible, I tried praying, and I tried to see the good to come, but it was hard. Instead, I wrapped myself up in all the hurt and anger I felt. And the hurt was too much for me so I found a way to get away from all that reminded me of the hurt and anger I felt.

My getaway was Washington and it was good for me.

Today I still struggle with the hurt and anger. 

I see the people who we used to consider family and I cannot even think good thoughts of them.

I watch my dad pursue his passion and get angry at God for letting another person take some of that joy away.

I'm human and I am allowed to be human and experience these waves of anger and hurt.

But as I walked today I reminded myself that I can forgive and accept, but I do not have to forget. We grow up hearing we should forgive and forget, but I think that does not always work. If you have to try and forget, can you say you really have forgiven?

I am choosing to forgive and accept. I cannot forget what has happened to my family because it has shaped who we are today. But I do accept that it happened and that it is in the past. 

And I have forgiven. Some days I have to forgive again, but forgiveness is not a one and done process; it's an ongoing process. 

As the new year comes, I see all that I am grateful for and see all the blessings that have been put in place since 2010. I found a refuge place that turned into a home. I've been granted multiple opportunity to grow and change. I had the opportunity to understand the importance of having a family that goes through tough times together and does not fall apart from each other.

There is much to be thankful for and to continue to cherish.

So here's to acceptance and to change and to gratefulness for the future and the past. 

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Spectacular Now

The most spectacular thing happened yesterday.

I walked out of this restaurant:

And I did not look back. I marched on, head held high with happiness.

My itch has been relieved. A change has occurred and I am happy. 

I spent this past week receiving a little taste of what 2015 will bring for me.

Being nanny will have difficult moments, but I think it will be filled with more meaningful and beautiful moments than cheesecake.

The restaurant industry has blessed me in many ways.

It began in 2008. I applied for a job at the YMCA and was accepted, but I wanted to be a hostess at a restaurant so bad that I practically begged for a position.

Thanks to a wonderful woman in my life, she called me up and gave me a chance and hired me after my first day. It became my first job and I have spent many hours, days, and years in this industry.

It has provided me with a way to live and get by, with lessons learned, opportunities to grow and become more assertive. It provided me with friends and a second family. It provided me with joy for a long time. 

But as of lately the joy disappeared so I needed to part ways before I became too bitter to ever look back on the goodness. 

Today starts the day of a new journey and I welcome it with open arms!

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Two Days in of Being Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins, how did you do it?

I'm not singing to birds yet.

My bag hasn't magically turned into something that holds everything.

And that hair style, I cannot even attempt to try you.

Okay, it really is not that bad.

I am in day two of my morning nanny gig and the kids are quite lovely.

Today we played balloon volley ball for ten minutes.

I will take balloon volley ball over serving any day.

Yeah, I got paid for playing with a balloon today.

Be jealous!

But that hard part is waking up to the horrendous noise at 5:50 in the morning.

I am sure that's quite a late start to some of you, but for me that's almost like death.

I do not know what it is about being up before 6 a.m. but my body is hating me for waking up before 6 the last two days. I expect to be fully awake around 11 and instead my body says "No, you suck. Get some Starbucks"

And so I get some Starbucks and my body decides to be somewhat nice to me, but it still slightly angry. 

Someone please tell me early mornings get easier the longer you do it.

Despite the morning, it really is quite fun to be able to wear my own clothes (no uniform!) and help little kids get ready for their day.

The little boy loves to count. Today he babbled on about how he has to wait 765 days for Christmas even though it's 9 days away. I have no idea what he meant, but he was set in his ways. And the little girl is so sweet. She loves to help her brother and tried to teach him division today even though he is only learning how to add right now. They're geniuses, I tell ya!

Okay, just thought I should let you into the Mary Poppins world a little bit and show you how happy I am despite the early wake-up call. Having breakfast with my man in the morning makes it pretty perfect too. 

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The Itch

Anybody remember this post from a few weeks ago?

Basically, I talked about how I had an itch for change.

I have been talking about this itch for a while.

As I told a friend at school about my itch, I said "it's either my job or my hair."

And while it is always fun to change your hair, I really need to stop taking out my need for change on my hair. And yes, my hair thanked me for this by deciding to go back to its perfect waves out of the shower air drying ways.

Well, the good news is that the itch has been relieved. 

It has been scratched and soothed and it is happy.

Ready for the news?

Okay, here we go...

My new movement in life is to be Mary Poppins.

Yep, I am going to walk around with the bag that gives everything, sing about spoon full's of sugar, and jump into sidewalk art.

Okay, so maybe I won't be doing all that, but I am going to be a nanny.

After taking my human growth and development class this year, I feel I have a better understanding of the child development process and how important it is build healthy relationships at all points in life. Because of this class it made me realize I could be in a happier place by making my job to pay my bills almost like my future job in a way.

No, I won't be counseling these kids although I am sure it will come out unconsciously or consciously, but I will be practicing the building of relationships with children, teens, and families.

I am very excited for this new opportunity and cannot wait to share the stories and the learning that will come. I appreciate those who have thought of me during this time of need for change and for the ideas given to me. I never thought being a nanny would be something I would put on my resume, but I am excited for the change and the adventure ahead. 

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3 years ago

3 years ago I made a Facebook status that said this:

"I keep dreaming about Washington. I need to be where my heart is!"

I had no idea that my heart was being prepared for man that I met by chance or maybe fate.

3 years ago I was trying to fill my loneliness with guys I was not really interested in. 

I was doing everything to find love, but I had no idea a love was being cultivated in my heart for this guy:

(Yes, he went as my number one fan and fulfilled my dream of being Taylor Swift for Halloween.)

Everyday he makes me smile, pushes me towards a better life, and constantly encourages me.

He won the heart of my family and I am so excited to continue life together.

We may not be on the express train to the alter, but he is the one man I would wait years for to pop that question I have been waiting for forever. 

I know it's cheesy to make so many posts about him, but I cannot help it.

He has been my cheerman through this journey of living in the Pacific North West and I am so blessed to have him in my life.

I love you Bradley!

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Hey Good Lookin', What You Got Cookin'

I was so blessed this past week to have my best friend and her boyfriend come to visit me.

We spent time playing Euchre, sight-seeing around Seattle, and catching up.

We also did a lot of cooking and we cooked some delicious meals that I thought I would shared with you!

My go-to breakfast dish is what I like to call Breakfast Sausage Casserole.

If you search how to make this, you will probably find multiple recipes for it.

But here is my advice: always go for the one that requires bread, sausage, cheese, eggs, and milk of some sort. Almost all of them call for mustard, but who wants mustard with breakfast? I sure don't!

Here's the closest recipe I could find: 

Breakfast Sausage Casserole by Trisha Yearwood

I was a great hostess and gave this to my best friend and her boyfriend for breakfast.

Later on, I took leftover chicken and made chicken salad sandwiches.

This is how she and I literally survived college on a cheap budget.

All you need is chicken which can be canned or oven-roasted, mayo, and grapes.

And if grapes are too fancy you can get rid of that.

Take the chicken mix it with the amount of mayo you find necessary and dice some grapes.

Spread it on some bread and wa-lah!

Delicioso!

For dinner, we got adventurous and tried a new recipe I pinned the other week. 

Chicken Mozzarella Pasta with Sun-dried tomatoes

You need to make this right away.

For one you feel like a chef while making it while also having a semi-easy cooking night.

I will make the dish for the rest of my life.

 Smiles on their faces is how you know it was good.

Then we decided to have a friendsgiving where I made candied carrots.

A quick and simple side dish to bring to any party.

We used to have these every night at the restaurant I first worked at and they are delicious.

Candied Carrots

The recipe says it takes 40 minutes, but it really only took me 20.

I guess it truly depends on if you like squishy or crunchy carrots.

My last and final meal was to honor the time spent with my bestie.

In college, I stumbled upon a meal called million dollar spaghetti and it is the best meal in the world. She asks for it every time and I cannot resist saying no because I love it just as much. 

You can find the recipe on pinterest or by going to this blog Made from pinterest

It's kind of like lasagna, but not exactly.

Just make it and decide for yourself.

Basically I was a cook-a-holic this weekend and I loved every second of it.

What should I make next?

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Sometimes...

You just need one song to play on repeat to write the three papers that accumulate to 13 pages that are due next week.

Last week it was this song:

And this week it's this song:

I heard in a store a few weeks ago and forgot all about how I loved it.

Then the Lord came down to tell me loves me and put it on the radio.

Did I write it down like I told myself to do while it was playing?

No because I was lost in Seattle again even though I've lived here for over a year now.

But I am a great detective and found it this morning and have been playing it for the last hour and would you believe it?!

I have one paper/5 pages done. Only 2 papers, and 8 pages to go.

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To the guests of restaurants...

There's just this little thing I need to get off my chest.

Yesterday a family left me a $0.07 tip. 

This happens usually at least once while working one of my shifts.

It sucks every time, but it is out of my control.

I typically throw a little fit for a minute and then move on reminding myself there are other decent people in this world.

Here's the thing with yesterday though.

I watched this family place at least give $100 bills on the table.

So it wasn't the fact they couldn't afford a tip that was the problem.

The problem they had with me was the silverware.

It was dirty and I had not noticed since I didn't set the table and had a full section.

The mother yelled at me for the silverware being dirty and the complained that it was not rolled in napkins.

These problems she had were out of my control.

I did not set the table and I am not in control of deciding how we display silverware on the tables. So her excuse for leaving me $0.07 was because the silverware was dirty.

For some reason her tip will hit me this time.

To me, it seemed as if she told that my service was only worth $0.07.

And I took it as me not being worthy of even a dollar which wouldn't even be close to a 10% tip. While I know I shouldn't have taken it so hard, the point in sharing that with you is because that's how most servers feel when this happens to them.

She didn't have enough respect to even tell me why she thought I was only worth of a $0.07 tip.

Some servers are in the restaurant industry to make the money that can come with the job.

But some servers, like me, are trying to make means meet or work towards a goal.

I didn't join this industry willingly. I joined it because it meets an always changing school schedule and allows me to live in an expensive city and make my ends meet most months.

And I especially did not join this job for you to tell me what I am worth, but that doesn't stop you from telling me. You think you have a right to define what I am worth, what I am qualified at, and what I deserve. Do you realize you hold in your hands the ability for me to pay my rent, to pay for food, and gas to work?

I know we all work with people who make our jobs miserable at times, who make us want to get ugly in their faces and tell them how we truly feel, and who make us feel like screaming at the top of our lungs. I write this only to remind you the holiday's are coming up. This season is the busiest for the restaurant industry. Sometimes it brings in the most joyous and grateful people around and sometimes it brings in the most ungrateful and rude people around.

If you're going out to eat this holiday season, try to keep in mind that the people serving you are human just like you. They make mistakes, they mess up, and they are trying to survive like you. Also keep in mind, most servers want to ensure you have a quality visit. We do not show up to work with plans to ruin your visit and your meal experience with family. If anything, we just want you to be thankful for us. 

So be joyous, be grateful, and be thankful.

If you cannot leave a tip then at least do the above because all people deserve that.

Sincerely,

The girl just wanting to make your holiday as bright and merry as possible

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Avoiding Paper Writing

So I have this 3 page paper I am supposed to be writing right now and I just have no desire to do it. I've got 5 weeks of school left and I have been working hard. There is something about this paper though that I do not even want to do. I do not want to do it so bad that I contemplated not doing it at all and taking a zero. Now, will I do that? No, of course not because I am better than that.

I will tell you what I am excited about at the moment though.

1.) I started Christmas shopping early and I have gotten some great deals. The besties are done, the little brother, the nephew, the niece, the mother-boyfriend-in-law. Pretty much they are the easiest to shop for so I should not be giving myself too much credit. I still have to shop for the hardest people which I am not looking forward to at all.

2.) My bestie from L.A. is coming to visit in two weeks. When you live in Washington, it's ridiculously expensive for people to come see you. I am not sure why, but since living here I have not had many visitors. I am so excited to spend a few days with her since we haven't seen each other since February. And the best part is she is bringing her boy-toy or boyfriend, whichever you prefer to call it.

3.) There are only 5 weeks of the semester left. A break is in the near future and I am still two-weeks ahead of the schedule which hopefully means I'll be done with everything at the beginning of the semester.

4.) The Holiday season is upon us which means my job will pick up again. For the last two months its been ridiculously slow so money has been minimal in my life. I am thankful for the next month and a half to work hard and start to save again.

5.) I started paying off my lowest student loan in January this year. It was around $6,000 and I am just under $2,000. I don't know about you, but that's pretty impressive to me. I'd like to have it all paid off by the end of December. I know that's a pretty steep goal, but I'm hoping with the holiday work hours and Christmas money that I may just be able to do it. I still have a larger loan to pay off, but making it to just one loan is so exciting! Maybe if I win some of these giveaways, I can get there. Fingers crossed!

What are you procrastinating on and looking forward to?

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Burning Fire To the Life that I Know

That itch has come around for change again.

(Play this if you want to know how I'm feeling while you read.)

Last year the itch was to do something other than school.

Instead of giving up on school, the change came in adding another year on to my schedule to free up more time and allow me to really take in what I am learning.

But nonetheless, the itch is back and it's really itchy.

I've been in the restaurant industry since I started working back in 2008. 

Hostess to server and this is where I've been.

In July, I switched to a new cheesecake factory and I think that got rid of the itch for a while, but now its back.

I won't lie: being a server can bring in a lot of money. 

If it's a good week of serving, I can make $500 in tips which does not include my hourly wage and that's typically a 25 hour work week at the most.

I'm fearful of unleashing that information because of the judgement servers receive for their pay by many.

Making that $500 is not easy and it is not guaranteed. 

On average I get stiffed by at least one table and get treated poorly by at least two during a shift.

I get yelled at for food being cooked wrong or because they are simply having a bad day.

Both are out of my control, yet I reap to anger and resentment. 

The job is draining my energy.

I have little desire to work at the moment.

And the itch is back for something new.

But I'm ignoring it because I'm not sure I can get a better job at the moment.

Being in grad school means you need flexibility with a job and cheesecake is so flexible.

They honor my school schedule, I can typically get a shift picked up if school work becomes too heavy, and the pay is just so good.

My plan is to ignore the itch until the end of the holiday season.

1.) Because it feels wrong of me to leave the restaurant during their busiest season. I've made a commitment to them and I will honor that.

2.) I cannot imagine finding a new job in the midst of the hardest part of my semester. 

But come January, I think I need to find a way to relieve my itch. 

I need a new direction or something new.

But I still need flexibility.

Maybe the itch is a different restaurant to serve at or something completely new to me.

Either way I need something new.

What jobs do you suggest for a student?

What part-time jobs were your favorite growing up?

Where do you suggest I go?

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Surviving Grad School 101

I posted this last December, but decided to share it with you all and myself again.

Really I'm just sharing it myself because I feel like I'm about to get my butt kicked and I don't know when it's coming...

 

1.) You MUST become best friends with Starbucks or some kind of coffee joint. This is the only way you will survive off the lack of sleep that ensues from working and doing school because lets be real--you can't go to graduate school and not have a job unless your dad is Mr. Banks. 
 

2.) Have a day that you say is for extra studying, but is actually for extra sleep, laundry doing, showering longer than 8 minutes, or for shopping. Thursdays were my day off from work, my day to go to counseling, and my day to walk into Target without any guilt. Yes, I tended to study because I am an over-achiever, but it was nice to know I didn't have to.
 

Or you could spend your days off Netflix
binging which is how I watched 10 episodes in 2 days.
 Whoops!

3.) Make a YouTube playlist every month. Have a song that you can't get out of your head? Play it on repeat while you write paper after paper. Seriously, I made a playlist of maybe just five songs each month and listened to them over and over again.
 

This guy is always playing for me.

4.) Have people who do not want to talk about your degree program. For me, this happened to my boyfriend. He always asked me about my program, but luckily psychology language is not his first language so he allowed me to disengage from it when I chose.

 

Thank Goodness for this man!

5.) Have a great support system. My friends have been great in encouraging me and making sure I am surviving. You need someone to call you to make sure you are up in time for your test or to turn in your paper. 

 

These girls get it!

6.) Watch Ellen videos at least twice a week. When you need a break from studying, go watch her. She will give you that quick laugh fix you need to stay sane.

I have not watched Ellen all Summer, but I immediately started last week and she truly brings a burst of happiness while studying.

7.) Be okay with surfing the internet while sitting in class. For some reason, grad classes seem to be freaking long. But guess what?! You are an adult and can choose to give yourself a five minute break of surfing the web when you can't focus anymore. Do NOT feel guilty for it.

 

This little bugger gets me through all my classes and is not too much of a distraction.

8.) TREAT YO SELF! My friends from Parks and Recreation taught me this. Finished a paper and craving Qdoba? TREAT YO SELF. You read a chapter for class? TREAT YO SELF TO ELLEN. You finished finals? TREAT YO SELF TO THAT FORMAL DRESS FOR THAT FORMAL EVENT WITH YOUR MAN.

And this is how you survive grad school.



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The Day I Took My Ring Off

Lately there are a lot of articles and blog posts being written by woman my age and their thoughts on sex before marriage. Both sides have legitimate points and I want to honor each for giving their thoughts a point. I’ve had the idea of writing on the topic of purity for a while. Purity is the topic that started me writing a blog. It used to be the main thing I wrote about. My life revolved around purity.

See, I grew up in the Christian church and was told all the stories of why a girl should wait for marriage, the dangers of having sex before marriage, and the consequences that come from God. I dove into this topic and I was fully into believing what the church said. Let me preference by saying I am not in disagreement with the church. Making sure you wait to have sex until marriage can be a great path for some people to choose. I believe sex should be had with someone you care deeply for, love, and want a future with. But growing up has also showed me the hardships of living a life of purity.

For years I wore a purity ring on my wedding ring finger. I was waiting for my Mr. Right (another topic we discuss in church) and to give him the ring with my whole self. I was an advocate for purity, a speaker for many church events, and encouraged all to stay pure until marriage.

College came and I was still on that track until honest conversations with people closest to me began to be discussed. Those people I loved hadn’t waited till marriage. Some of them had been hurt by it while others felt as if they decision they made was for the best. Hearing these stories come from those closest to me began to change my mind about purity. Purity means something different to everyone. For some it means waiting till marriage and for others it means waiting for the guy they decide is worth giving themselves to.

I took off my purity ring this past year after constantly being asked if I was engaged or feeling judged when I explained what it meant. And to be honest, I felt a lot of relief when I took it off. That ring began to represent shame for me. It was the constant reminder of what I was risking when I allowed the wrong guy in my life. It reminded me to advocate for purity and in the process hurt others because I was calling them a sinner for not living a life like mine. Purity can be a good thing but I think it’s being taught to us wrong.

I feel like the church scared me of sex. If you have it before marriage, then you’re broken goods and not worth as much. Having it before marriage means you don’t get the best guy and you’re allowing yourself to go for the “ok” guys. Sex was the determinant for being a truly whole Christian.

And I believed those for so long until I realized sex is not the problem. Judgment is the problem. To say a woman is no longer worthy for losing her virginity before marriage is degrading and not something I want to teach my daughter anymore. Sex was never meant to be scary or to define your whole life. Yes, it’s a big commitment and deserves a lot of thought before encountering, but it does not determine your worth as a human being.

I want my daughter to grow up knowing that it’s a big decision to consider and the choices she makes can have good or bad consequences. I want her to decide what sex means for her and not be told she is unworthy if she commits in it before marriage. Of course as parents, you want the best for your child because we believe they deserve the world. But I don’t want my daughter or son to be ashamed for the decisions they make in life because it doesn’t line up with a biblical text or others opinions. That book we grew up reading in church is filled with compassion and forgiveness. Shouldn’t that be the actions we are engaging with as followers of God? Instead, we are sending messages of judgment and disgust because someone didn’t live out their life the way I think is best.

I am not saying I am perfect or by any means close to being a non-judgmental person, but I am changing the way I view others decisions. My life is mine, their life is theirs. We will choose our own paths and take twists and turns along the way. Sometimes we may be disappointed with ourselves for what we consider mistakes and other times we will be proud of the choice we made and not regret it. Either way I think it’s time to stop the judgment and allow the conversation to be more open. I think if we allow honest conversations free of judging glances and statements we may be able to trust the human race again to make good choices for themselves and others. Who knows I could be wrong, but I think it’s an important part as a Christian and as a human that I was missing for years.

What are your thoughts?

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Love Wins

My laptop has a sticker on it that says 

"Love Wins."

I have transferred it from computer to computer because I love that sticker.

Not only is it a sticker, but it is also a conversation starter.

People come up to me in Starbucks saying how they love that saying or that book or whatever.

But the one thing I realized today is that none of them have ever asked me what it means to me.

Originally, the sticker represented God for me. God is love and his love always wins. 

That's why the sticker was put there, but over time it has evolved for me. 

Love is the reason for living, for breathing. We spend our lives searching for someone who makes us want to take up each morning, for something that inspires us to do goof everyday, and for a life that has meaning. Love is what brought us to this earth. 

Love is why we are here. Whether you believe in it or not; it exists. 

I thought I'd have all these words to describe what Love wins to me, but I'm having trouble putting words to it.

All I can say is love always wins. When you're fighting with someone, don't forget the love you have for them and the love they have for you. When you're thinking of the best gift to give someone, remember something that screams "I love you" is always the best gift. When that girl who just drives you crazy is bothering you again, remember the grace of love and grace her out.

Love always wins. 

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Fall Goals

I used to make those monthly goal lists, but I realized I stopped trying to achieve them. So maybe if I do a seasonal goal list, I will actually accomplish them?

1.) Be engaging and make friends. 

Last year I was a "get through school" only kind of girl. 

Sure, I made some friends, but I really did not engage my fellow classmates. 

This year I hope to actually get to know some more of my classmates and be a little bit more extroverted.

2.) Wear all the clothing in my closet.

I am a character of habit. 

I buy something new and wear it non-stop for a few months. 

I started this week by putting the clothes I've already worn behind my work clothes as a marker between what I've worn and what I have not. 

3.) Stop the Starbucks. 

I know I just made some people cry out there, but I really need to stop.

$100 a month on Starbucks, sometimes more than that. That's a bad habit.

I want to be a better steward with my money and really try harder to spend money where its needed such as student loans. I'm only $2,000 away from paying off one of them which is pretty good for starting in January. 

Goodbye Deliciousness. 

4.) Relax.

Apparently I am pretty bad at this. 

I am going to do better at this by not picking up work-shifts like crazy or planning too much into one week. For example, today I typically am scheduled to work but I was not. Instead of picking up a shift, I used it as a hard-core study day with little breaks or relaxation in-between. 

What are your goals for this season?

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2nd Year of Graduate School

In two weeks, I will be engaging in my second year of graduate school. 

Originally, I was on the 3 year track, but I recently switched to the 4 year track to allow myself more space and time to intake all that I am learning.

I though ya'll may be interested in the classes I am taking this semester. So here we go:

I'm taking 8 credits which equals out to four classes. It will be the lightest load I've taken since I have taken 9 credits each semester last year.

Human Growth: The Interpersonal and Narrative Journey

-This is similar to a human growth and development class. 

"This course covers human development from an interpersonal perspective, which includes neurological, psychological, 

and faith development from conception to death. Particular emphasis is placed on the significance of attachment, and 

the roles of affect regulation and mentalization in facilitating secure development."

Excitement factor (out of 10): 5--mainly because I've taken a class similar to this and am nervous it could be repetitive. 

Learning Factor: 10--this is directly associated with my career and will be very helpful to understand in my field.

Sexual Disorders

"The student will receive an overview of the theological, physiological, psychological, and sociological perspectives on 

human sexuality and consider how these perspectives impact sexual identity, sexual behavior, and sexual disorders."

Excitement Factor: 8--I've been reading one of the assigned books for this class to get a head start and it's very interesting. Very much focused on how the mind plays a part into our sexual attractions, love, and physicality.

Learning Factor: 10--It's a brand new course to me so I am excited to learn an area I do not know much about.

Theology 1: Constructing the Theological Mosaic-God, Humanity, and Christ

"This course is the first of a two-part exploration in constructing, confessing and affirming anew the central doctrinal 

vision of the Christian faith. We refer to this as the theological mosaic because in essence this is not a monochrome 

belief system but a rich tapestry of different historical, cultural and biblical insights that show us how to integrate text, 

soul and culture. In this way we hope to appropriate the great traditions of the Christian church and construct a faith 

that is equally meaningful and resourceful to Christian vocation, ministry and discipleship in our contemporary global 

contexts."

Excitement Factor: 0--Is that bad? I just really do not like theology classes. Not my cup of tea.

Learning Factor: 3--I'm sure I'll learn a lot, but I'm not interested in learning this.

Special Topics: Marriage Counseling

-Unfortunately, there is no course description available for this course. Yes, I do not know what I am really getting myself into except for the fact this is the path of psychology I've always talked about going into. 

Excitement Factor: 10--It's an elective so it's not required for me to take it which means I really want to take it.

Learning Factor: 10--The professor taught my marriage and family therapy class and I learned a lot through that class. He has his own marriage counseling firm so he knows a lot.

My goal for the next two weeks and to actually relax before I throw myself into lots of studying and reading. Anybody have suggestions for me on how to relax because I'm apparently not good at it.

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Sacrifices

Thanks to my wonderful parents I had the opportunity to take an impromptu trip home for the summer. And let me tell you, I needed it badly.

The weeks following up to the trip I experienced multiple breakdowns. I would be driving in the car and a song would come on and I'd be in tears.  I couldn't tell you why Katy Perry's Birthday song made me cry, but it did. I can tell you now it was because I missed home which my boyfriend always pointed out first. How he does it I do not know.

So last week I spent 5 days at home. I went home for the grand opening of my parent's Roscoe's Taco's in Mooresville which actually did not open till today and I am currently in Washington right now. Nevertheless, the time at home was great. I spent time with my nephew and surprised my sister. I spent time with the besties adorable little girl, got to have old roommate time conversations about our future prediction's and dream about the future together. 

And then Thursday came and I had to get back on a plane in order to go on a camping trip on Friday. My mom took me to the airport, I got teary eyed, and then I went through security for the fourth time this year saying when I would see her next. I thought I was done getting teary-eyed after I made it through security, but apparently I was wrong. As my plane took off and began to become airborne I felt the tears come back. What in heavens name was wrong with me? 

But as I spent that six hour flight thinking, I realized that every time I get back on a plane to Washington I am reminded of all the I sacrifice to live my dream. Now I feel like the word "sacrifice" has a bad connotation with it so I want you all to know that my sacrifices are not bad things, but just things I choose to miss out on to live my dream. 

I am sacrificing being apart of many family events such as the grand opening of Roscoe's, being at the hospital for my new nephews birth, and missing multiple birthday celebrations.

I am sacrificing country drives that you take just to feel the breeze with your windows down driving past corn field after corn field.

I am sacrificing comfort and familiarity.

I'm sure the list could go on and on, but those are the things that are clear to me of what I am sacrificing. On the plane I also thought about how large the heart is. How is it possible for my heart to hold two places as home? When I am in Indiana, I cannot wait to return back to Washington. And then in Washington, I count down the days to be reunited with family. It astounds me how the heart can hold so much, love so much. 

I am grateful to have two places of home, but boy do I miss the other when I am living in one place.  Congratulations mom and dad as you start your new adventure today and I cannot wait to come and celebrate in October!

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#FAVTOTALSOCIAL

Who doesn't like sharing their favorite things in life?

So let's begin!

Favorite Pictures (Because I just cannot choose one):

I will always love this picture. Candid and shows how infatuated we are with each other.

The besties with their mommas. These ladies supported us all throughout college and each momma loved us like we were their own. We have so many pictures like these and they make me smile each time.

I don't know what it is about this picture, but this  was just us as roommates. It was one of the best life choices I ever made to room with this girl!

Favorite Song's:

Favorite Places to Eat:

Chick-fil-a: always and forever. Only the best fast food to ever exist. 

Piper's Cafe: Where else can you get the most delicious chicken james?

Favorite Animal:

Seriously, these creatures are just too adorable and do things like that!

Favorite Drink:

Iced Mocha's from Starbucks. I'm addicted.

I think that's a good start into some of my favorite things.

What's your favorites?

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Leadership

I was driving yesterday and I was angry. 

Not at any of the drivers, but angry about a situation that happened a few weeks ago.

A leader who was in my life in high school had made a visit to Seattle and did not tell me they were coming or try to see me. 

Silly to be angry about, right?

But, never the less, I was angry.

Is it really that difficult to make time to have an hour chat with someone?

 I have had many leaders in my life over the years. Growing up in church means having someone around who is stepping up to lead. Those middle school and high school years are filled with influential individuals. As I was driving, I found myself angry at all those leaders who stepped into my life and then stopped contacting me.

I started to think I was the problem. Some of those leaders are still close with the people of my age group. They still keep in contact with them, but not me. Maybe I wasn't popular enough for their attention. Or maybe I was not the one with the most problems so they did not have to spend as much time with me. I began to feel overlooked.

And then I began to think of my roles as a leader. I started to think of the small group girls I led in high school and how I have not contacted them in a few years. But of course, I had an excuse. I was asked not to return back to that church where we built a relationship so of course I could not continue a relationship with them.

But really, that excuse is not valid. 

Thinking about all this made me realize that leadership has a beginning and an end. Some leadership roles last for decades and you continue relationships for a lifetime. Other leadership roles last for a few years and the relationships end after a while. It's common and should not be looked down upon. 

While I still wish I had relationships with those leaders that had an impact in my life, I also know that I am fine without them. I still think highly of them and cherish the memories shared with them. I guess I finally understand the pressure that comes from trying to continue on those relationships. If you try to continue them all, you cannot truly impact. Eventually you have to trust your instincts and lead those you feel need it the most. 

I realize I should not be insulted that those leaders do not contact me anymore or make time for me. They have lives, I have a life; we are all doing our best to be good people. It's that simple. If I had more time in the world, I am sure I would build more relationships with people, but the truth of the matter is that time is limited sometimes.

I am reminded of a quote my friends sent me a while ago about people being apart of our lives for different times.

Some people are in our lives for a short time and others for forever. 

Either way we should cherish the time we have or have had with them.

So thank you to all those people who have had an impact in my life. Thank you for taking time away from your families and partners to pour into mine and guide me along the way. Thank you for the advice, kind words, and heartfelt messages when I needed them most. Thank you for being you and for being apart of my life for a short time or for forever.

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Summer Plans

Seeing as I was in school till the end of June, my summer is finally starting and this is what I have planned. 

1.) Go to a concert

Gavin Degraw- This is how I kicked off my first day of summer! It was such a blast and I would pay to see it again. Mary Lambert, Matt Nathanson, and this guy! Just perfect to kick the summer off!!

2.) Camping

I do live in the state of Washington now so I should experience what camping is like here, right?
I am crossing this off the list at the end of July. Fingers crossed the boy survives--he thought we could sleep in the back of his car instead of a tent; he prefers glamping if you know what I mean.

3.) Bonfire and Barbecue

My man keeps talking about these epic bonfires he throws but I have yet to experience it. I am making him show me how great of a bonfire he throws and making him grill me some delicious burgers. 

4.) Harry Potter World

Because my man has a business trip in Florida, he invited me along and part of the benefit of going to a tool convention is also getting to go to Harry Potter World! To say I am excited is an understatement. It's only been a dream of mine and I get to experience it with my man!

I am sure I will do much more this summer, but these are just a few of the things I am making sure to accomplish. 

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ASL

So many times people assume television is a waste of time or useless. Sometimes this is true, I watch some pretty horrible, trashy tv. Switched at Birth is different thought.

Yes, it has all the drama a tv show needs, but it it also teaching me.

The show revolves around a deaf community and daughter so throughout the show I have been learning little pieces of sign language. And it reminded me of the class I took when I was little learning sign language.

I went out and bought a book to teach me more. And being the dreamer I am, I began to dream about how I could use sign language in my daily life and future. I thought about how I could use it as a counselor. I am sure I would not be the only one, but I have not met a counselor the speaks ASL. What if I became a counselor who could take on clients who use ASL? 

My only fear is that I do not finish learning the ASL signs. I start projects a lot of them and then do not finish them, but I really want to finish this one. I know school will start again in a few months and I'm afraid that I will stop once it starts up again.

Why is so easy to quit stuff sometimes? I go through these phases when I feel super motivated and other times I search forever for motivation. And then I wonder why I am so scared of quitting this learning experience. Is it the end of the world if I do quit? I know the answer is no, its not the end of the world. 

What do you do when you find yourself un-motivated to finish something? I am sure there's no right way, but I'm curious.

If I can figure out technology, I'd like to make some video blogs teaching you all what I am learning so be looking out for those videos to come!

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