I am Meredith Grey

This week I learned that I am Meredith Grey.

Yes I have been watching the entire series and I am almost to the end of all that Netflix offers with this series and I may be freaking out a little, but really I am in Meredith Grey mode.

This statement has never been so true.

I started this school term hoping to end with a better idea of the direction I am going with all the hard work I have been doing. I thought I would have a game plan for the next two years and I am just more confused than I ever was. 

I am not happy about this fact and I am quite upset that I still do not know which type of counseling I want to pursue for the rest of my life.

I have the trauma side of counseling saying "Pick me, choose me, love me."

Then there's the heart side of counseling or what I like to call the cardiovascular side saying "Pick me, choose me, love me."

Neuro counseling is not far behind it screaming "Pick me, choose me, love me."

And then there's general counseling and I am yelling "Pick me, choose me, love me."

Choosing which area to pursue is important to me, but it's just not easy.

I care about the future I am walking into, I care about the people I will impact, and I care about the time I devote to certain areas of psychology. I simply want to choose the right path for me and the path that will allow me to do the work I was created to do in this world. 

But the fact is that making this choice is not easy. There is no simply right or wrong path to choose; it's much more complicated than that.

And if you're reading this right now wondering what in the world I am talking about, do not worry. I don't understand me either.

I mostly feel like Meredith grey in her decision to pursue general surgery. General psychology means I can work with the trauma side, the heart side, the brain side, and all the other sides there are to psychology. General psychology is my niche. My passions are widespread and it is not right for me to pick one. I just cannot do that! 

And really Meredith Grey and I are the same because we both shave our legs...sometimes.

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Burning Fire To the Life that I Know

That itch has come around for change again.

(Play this if you want to know how I'm feeling while you read.)

Last year the itch was to do something other than school.

Instead of giving up on school, the change came in adding another year on to my schedule to free up more time and allow me to really take in what I am learning.

But nonetheless, the itch is back and it's really itchy.

I've been in the restaurant industry since I started working back in 2008. 

Hostess to server and this is where I've been.

In July, I switched to a new cheesecake factory and I think that got rid of the itch for a while, but now its back.

I won't lie: being a server can bring in a lot of money. 

If it's a good week of serving, I can make $500 in tips which does not include my hourly wage and that's typically a 25 hour work week at the most.

I'm fearful of unleashing that information because of the judgement servers receive for their pay by many.

Making that $500 is not easy and it is not guaranteed. 

On average I get stiffed by at least one table and get treated poorly by at least two during a shift.

I get yelled at for food being cooked wrong or because they are simply having a bad day.

Both are out of my control, yet I reap to anger and resentment. 

The job is draining my energy.

I have little desire to work at the moment.

And the itch is back for something new.

But I'm ignoring it because I'm not sure I can get a better job at the moment.

Being in grad school means you need flexibility with a job and cheesecake is so flexible.

They honor my school schedule, I can typically get a shift picked up if school work becomes too heavy, and the pay is just so good.

My plan is to ignore the itch until the end of the holiday season.

1.) Because it feels wrong of me to leave the restaurant during their busiest season. I've made a commitment to them and I will honor that.

2.) I cannot imagine finding a new job in the midst of the hardest part of my semester. 

But come January, I think I need to find a way to relieve my itch. 

I need a new direction or something new.

But I still need flexibility.

Maybe the itch is a different restaurant to serve at or something completely new to me.

Either way I need something new.

What jobs do you suggest for a student?

What part-time jobs were your favorite growing up?

Where do you suggest I go?

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Surviving Grad School 101

I posted this last December, but decided to share it with you all and myself again.

Really I'm just sharing it myself because I feel like I'm about to get my butt kicked and I don't know when it's coming...

 

1.) You MUST become best friends with Starbucks or some kind of coffee joint. This is the only way you will survive off the lack of sleep that ensues from working and doing school because lets be real--you can't go to graduate school and not have a job unless your dad is Mr. Banks. 
 

2.) Have a day that you say is for extra studying, but is actually for extra sleep, laundry doing, showering longer than 8 minutes, or for shopping. Thursdays were my day off from work, my day to go to counseling, and my day to walk into Target without any guilt. Yes, I tended to study because I am an over-achiever, but it was nice to know I didn't have to.
 

Or you could spend your days off Netflix
binging which is how I watched 10 episodes in 2 days.
 Whoops!

3.) Make a YouTube playlist every month. Have a song that you can't get out of your head? Play it on repeat while you write paper after paper. Seriously, I made a playlist of maybe just five songs each month and listened to them over and over again.
 

This guy is always playing for me.

4.) Have people who do not want to talk about your degree program. For me, this happened to my boyfriend. He always asked me about my program, but luckily psychology language is not his first language so he allowed me to disengage from it when I chose.

 

Thank Goodness for this man!

5.) Have a great support system. My friends have been great in encouraging me and making sure I am surviving. You need someone to call you to make sure you are up in time for your test or to turn in your paper. 

 

These girls get it!

6.) Watch Ellen videos at least twice a week. When you need a break from studying, go watch her. She will give you that quick laugh fix you need to stay sane.

I have not watched Ellen all Summer, but I immediately started last week and she truly brings a burst of happiness while studying.

7.) Be okay with surfing the internet while sitting in class. For some reason, grad classes seem to be freaking long. But guess what?! You are an adult and can choose to give yourself a five minute break of surfing the web when you can't focus anymore. Do NOT feel guilty for it.

 

This little bugger gets me through all my classes and is not too much of a distraction.

8.) TREAT YO SELF! My friends from Parks and Recreation taught me this. Finished a paper and craving Qdoba? TREAT YO SELF. You read a chapter for class? TREAT YO SELF TO ELLEN. You finished finals? TREAT YO SELF TO THAT FORMAL DRESS FOR THAT FORMAL EVENT WITH YOUR MAN.

And this is how you survive grad school.



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Surviving Grad School 101

Today is the day I can finally say I survived my first semester of graduate school.

Only 8 semesters to go! Oh boy!

This time last year I was playing with the idea of moving to Seattle to start this crazy school and a few weeks later made the commitment to attend. For those of you considering the graduate school student life, here are some ways to survive.

1.) You MUST become best friends with Starbucks or some kind of coffee joint. This is the only way you will survive off the lack of sleep that ensues from working and doing school because lets be real--you can't go to graduate school and not have a job unless your dad is Mr. Banks. 

2.) Have a day that you say is for extra studying, but is actually for extra sleep, laundry doing, showering longer than 8 minutes, or for shopping. Thursdays were my day off from work, my day to go to counseling, and my day to walk into Target without any guilt. Yes, I tended to study because I am an over-achiever, but it was nice to know I didn't have to.

3.) Make a YouTube playlist every month. Have a song that you can't get out of your head? Play it on repeat while you write paper after paper. Seriously, I made a playlist of maybe just five songs each month and listened to them over and over again.

4.) Have people who do not want to talk about your degree program. For me, this happened to my boyfriend. He always asked me about my program, but luckily psychology language is not his first language so he allowed me to disengage from it when I chose.

5.) Have a great support system. My friends have been great in encouraging me and making sure I am surviving. You need someone to call you to make sure you are up in time for your test or to turn in your paper. 

6.) Watch Ellen videos at least twice a week. When you need a break from studying, go watch her. She will give you that quick laugh fix you need to stay sane.

7.) Be okay with surfing the internet while sitting in class. For some reason, grad classes seem to be freaking long. But guess what?! You are an adult and can choose to give yourself a five minute break of surfing the web when you can't focus anymore. Do NOT feel guilty for it.

8.) TREAT YO SELF! My friends from Parks and Recreation taught me this. Finished a paper and craving Qdoba? TREAT YO SELF. You read a chapter for class? TREAT YO SELF TO ELLEN. You finished finals? TREAT YO SELF TO THAT FORMAL DRESS FOR THAT FORMAL EVENT WITH YOUR MAN.

And this is how you survive the first semester. 

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