Leadership

I was driving yesterday and I was angry. 

Not at any of the drivers, but angry about a situation that happened a few weeks ago.

A leader who was in my life in high school had made a visit to Seattle and did not tell me they were coming or try to see me. 

Silly to be angry about, right?

But, never the less, I was angry.

Is it really that difficult to make time to have an hour chat with someone?

 I have had many leaders in my life over the years. Growing up in church means having someone around who is stepping up to lead. Those middle school and high school years are filled with influential individuals. As I was driving, I found myself angry at all those leaders who stepped into my life and then stopped contacting me.

I started to think I was the problem. Some of those leaders are still close with the people of my age group. They still keep in contact with them, but not me. Maybe I wasn't popular enough for their attention. Or maybe I was not the one with the most problems so they did not have to spend as much time with me. I began to feel overlooked.

And then I began to think of my roles as a leader. I started to think of the small group girls I led in high school and how I have not contacted them in a few years. But of course, I had an excuse. I was asked not to return back to that church where we built a relationship so of course I could not continue a relationship with them.

But really, that excuse is not valid. 

Thinking about all this made me realize that leadership has a beginning and an end. Some leadership roles last for decades and you continue relationships for a lifetime. Other leadership roles last for a few years and the relationships end after a while. It's common and should not be looked down upon. 

While I still wish I had relationships with those leaders that had an impact in my life, I also know that I am fine without them. I still think highly of them and cherish the memories shared with them. I guess I finally understand the pressure that comes from trying to continue on those relationships. If you try to continue them all, you cannot truly impact. Eventually you have to trust your instincts and lead those you feel need it the most. 

I realize I should not be insulted that those leaders do not contact me anymore or make time for me. They have lives, I have a life; we are all doing our best to be good people. It's that simple. If I had more time in the world, I am sure I would build more relationships with people, but the truth of the matter is that time is limited sometimes.

I am reminded of a quote my friends sent me a while ago about people being apart of our lives for different times.

Some people are in our lives for a short time and others for forever. 

Either way we should cherish the time we have or have had with them.

So thank you to all those people who have had an impact in my life. Thank you for taking time away from your families and partners to pour into mine and guide me along the way. Thank you for the advice, kind words, and heartfelt messages when I needed them most. Thank you for being you and for being apart of my life for a short time or for forever.

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