2 Years

2 years ago I could not have imagined I would be where I am today

with you.

I never would have imagined OkCupid! would be the way I would meet my future husband, but it worked out in our favor. You've taught me to love Sushi, fast cars, tool's, and the color Red.

I've learned more about Mine-craft than I could ever care to know and you've started to speak in psychological lingo.

You've treated me to one too many Starbucks's dates, plenty of Mexican dinners, and ice-cream sundae runs when I am feeling blue.

 You were patient as I cried every few weeks about whether you and I were going to have a future together and created the most beautiful proposal that I never could have imagined. 

You've loved me through all the grad school tears, the tears because I miss my family and friends, and tears for silly things. And the way you comfort and make me feel safe and secure in your arms is something I will never tire of.

 You continually remind me that it is all going to be okay and never judge me when I come home with a shopping bag. 

I love you more than words can say and am so happy to have spent 730 days of my life with you so far.

Happy Anniversary to my ride or die!

I love you!

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3 years ago

3 years ago I made a Facebook status that said this:

"I keep dreaming about Washington. I need to be where my heart is!"

I had no idea that my heart was being prepared for man that I met by chance or maybe fate.

3 years ago I was trying to fill my loneliness with guys I was not really interested in. 

I was doing everything to find love, but I had no idea a love was being cultivated in my heart for this guy:

(Yes, he went as my number one fan and fulfilled my dream of being Taylor Swift for Halloween.)

Everyday he makes me smile, pushes me towards a better life, and constantly encourages me.

He won the heart of my family and I am so excited to continue life together.

We may not be on the express train to the alter, but he is the one man I would wait years for to pop that question I have been waiting for forever. 

I know it's cheesy to make so many posts about him, but I cannot help it.

He has been my cheerman through this journey of living in the Pacific North West and I am so blessed to have him in my life.

I love you Bradley!

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1 Year Together

Yeah so I'm going to be that sappy person and post about my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend. And you're going to have to deal with it because this is the longest I've ever been with a guy and I'm not stopping anytime soon.

 

 

We spent our day visiting parts of Washington I've never been to before. We went to Fort Cassey and Worden.

(This is Fort Cassey. It was much cooler than Worden)

I went on my first ferry ride which was fun and surprisingly quick.

It's amazing how quick boats can be.

 

We also spent a lot of time singing and being goofballs.

 

But the best part of the whole day was spending the whole day together.

Since starting school again our schedules make it difficult to get some time together.

He's either working or I'm working/studying/surviving.

Quality time is always the best gift.

Speaking of gifts the boy built me a desktop as my gift. He seriously is the sweetest and most thoughtful. It has been so helpful to do my school work on since my laptop can be pretty slow at times.

 

I am so blessed and happy to have Brad in my life. He's become one of my best friends and my home. I cannot wait to see what the next year holds for both us.

I love you Bebe!

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Love Wins

My laptop has a sticker on it that says 

"Love Wins."

I have transferred it from computer to computer because I love that sticker.

Not only is it a sticker, but it is also a conversation starter.

People come up to me in Starbucks saying how they love that saying or that book or whatever.

But the one thing I realized today is that none of them have ever asked me what it means to me.

Originally, the sticker represented God for me. God is love and his love always wins. 

That's why the sticker was put there, but over time it has evolved for me. 

Love is the reason for living, for breathing. We spend our lives searching for someone who makes us want to take up each morning, for something that inspires us to do goof everyday, and for a life that has meaning. Love is what brought us to this earth. 

Love is why we are here. Whether you believe in it or not; it exists. 

I thought I'd have all these words to describe what Love wins to me, but I'm having trouble putting words to it.

All I can say is love always wins. When you're fighting with someone, don't forget the love you have for them and the love they have for you. When you're thinking of the best gift to give someone, remember something that screams "I love you" is always the best gift. When that girl who just drives you crazy is bothering you again, remember the grace of love and grace her out.

Love always wins. 

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What I Love About Me

Can I just tell you how many doubts enter your head when you move?

Well, it's a lot! I have been experiencing a lot of doubt within myself since I've gotten to Washington. I've wondered if it was worth it, if I was crazy for leaving all familiarity, and if I will actually survive for three years by myself out here.

And then there are the days when you just have to be a little self-centered and remember why you are great and what makes you strong. So yes, this entire post is about what I love about myself.

You should try it, it's amazing how it will change your perspective on things.

1.) I love my persistence. If I want something, I work to get it. If I have a dream, I achieve it.

2.) I love my work-ethic. Yes, some may call me a work-a-holic, but I thrive from working hard. I'm willing to give it my all if I am 100% into it. 

3.) My goodness, I love my hair! I am so thankful God knew the type of girl I am--one who has no desire to spend hours to look cute. These locks of wave make my life so much easier and make getting ready to go out simple. Pin it back and I'm done. 

(For example: This date took a total of 15 minutes to get ready. Shower, let hair air dry, and then put some eyeliner on. BAM! Ready for the day!)

4.) I love that I don't deal with the crap. Be dramatic, lie to me, or completely be a mean person--go ahead! I just won't spend my time on you.

5.) I love that I'm a girl who his hips. Yeah, you won't find me in a bikini, but I will rock that one piece like its my job. 

6.) I love that I stand my ground. I've got standards and I've got rules when it comes to dating. Sure, you can try to get past them, but I can guarantee you that there will most likely not be another date in your future.

7.) I love that I can laugh at myself and rock my embarrassment. Just the other day I walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to my shoe. Oh yeah, I definitely hurried to get that paper off my shoe, but then I preceded to laugh at how funny it was and allowed my face to be red for a few minutes.

8.) I love that I am a people person. It can be exhausting at times, but I love my relationships and enjoy building upon others.

9.) I love my bargain shopping. Three tops and a scarf all for $21. Yes, I should do this for a living!

What do you love about yourself? 

And if you haven't been loving yourself, it is time to start!

Take yourself out to a movie, get that pedicure you've been waiting for, buy that shirt you've had your eye on for weeks now, or just stand in the mirror and admire who you are.

TREAT YO SELF! LOVE YA SELF!

(Sorry ghetto Rachel just came out)

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Moving On

 

I found this quote on Pinterest the other day and it really hit me. In April, I went through a breakup that was not an easy decision to make and required a lot of reflection from me.  I was still unsure of my decision a month later so I dug deeper into why I was struggling with moving on. I tend to be very bad about the end of relationships. When I end it, I feel fine for the first few weeks and then it all hits me a few weeks later and I cry, cry, cry.

 

This breakup was different. I was fine for two hours and then I lost it. I felt helpless, loveless, and confused beyond belief. I did not understand why I was fluctuating through these emotions so rapidly. One minute laughing and smiling the next sobbing. I eventually was able to keep myself composed most days and not dwell on what happened, but I knew I needed to spend more time thinking through why this was difficult and why I felt the way I did.

 

So I spent a week thinking through why I felt the way I did and why I no longer needed to feel this way.

Of course I felt the way I did because I cared about him. I cared about him as an individual, as my boyfriend, and as a human being.

I felt this way because I wanted it to work out, but had to deal with the fact not everything we want happens.

I felt this way because ending a relationship is never easy.

 

I needed to move on because that's what you do to heal yourself.

I needed to move on to prepare myself for what is to come and to be ready to take it head on.

I needed to move on because it felt right to.

 

This quote hit home and reminded me of the process of ending relationships whether its romantic or friendly.



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Happy V-Day!

Happy Valentines Day Ya'll!

(Yes, I am pretending I can get away with country twang)

 

This year I am celebrating with my 5th and final year at the Pipe.

 

And then eventually with my boy on Monday seeing SAFE HAVEN!

 

I think you needed the caps to understand just how excited I am.

 

I do not know how this whole Valentine's day thing is supposed to work, but if it means convincing you boyfriend to see a chick-flick then I am all for it!

 

Have fun loving on all those around you! Your friends, family, neighbors, or strangers!

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Same Love

During the summer I shared my thoughts on same love when the conflict between Chick-fil-a and the homosexual community occurred.

 

This week I have been reminded of how ever present this battle is in my life. I am an adult learning what I believe to be true or fair and discovering what I am going to support and what I am not.

 

I am a Christian so I am supposed to believe in the love of man and woman, not man and man or woman and woman. Yet, here I stand torn. This is my faith view and while I love God, does that mean I have to have this view as well?

 

I always come back to the fact I am not the one to judge and I choose to love.

I choose to love same love couples and wish the best for them. I choose not to add to the controversy by bashing one side or the other. I choose to love the individual and the fact they were created by a greater being.

I choose love.

 

Love is patient, love is kind.

That's what it comes down to for me.

 

Feel free to listen to this video.

 



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Welcome Baby Green!

I have been MIA this week because....

I am a new aunt to this cute little boy!

Quinn Alexander was born Monday at 11:08 p.m. after my sister spent 23 hours in labor!

He came out bright eyed and continued to look at everyone as we left; he also came out with a mo hawk and has thus worn one every day he has been alive. I can already tell he is going to be a Ladies man.

In other news, I have been thinking a lot lately about a lot of things. One of those things of course has to do with boys. Who would have guessed?! I have just been trying to figure out this growing up thing. In high school, I was all about not dating unless I really got to know the guy first and if we were friends, but now that I am older and entering into my last year of college, I realize that mind set may not be right any more. I still believe in a lot of it, but is it wrong to date guys without having that strong friendship first? So many questions that come with this next year and I am just not ready for them. I have found I have been super procrastinative lately and it has to do with things I wanted to get done before school starts, but I just don't want to do it. There is just a lot I have to learn this next year.

In regards to my Senior year, I have also been thinking a lot of what the year is going to consist of and I have thought of a few things that would push me out of my comfort zone, but also be things I am interested in.

1.) Singing at chapel. It will happen!

2.) Try out for encore again?

3.) Go Evangelizing. I have always been a critic to evangelism, but after meeting some evangelists at the fair my curiosity has increased and I would like to go and try it out at least once.

4.) Enter into a Karaoke contest. I love singing and karaoke. Why not compete?

5.) Say yes to blind dates or dates. No I am not asked out on dates or blind dates often, but I want to be open-minded to them.

6.) Give a friendship a second chance? This one is way up in the air, but it is something I have been considering.

7.) Get crafty again! I was always wanting to do crafts when I was in school, but now that I actually have time to do them I don't. I blame it on the android.

8.) Be the outgoing person I know I am. Around my friends, I am loud and talk and not weary of what people will think of me, but in the real world I kind of clamp up sometimes. I want to be that outgoing person I know I am without worrying what people will think of me.

9.) Go red for a little bit. This shall happen in October!

And I am sure the list will go on and on.

Health wise...

this week was a slip. With the baby and work and my sleeping schedule off, I did not workout once, nor did I eat as healthy as I should have. Here's to this week and hopeful improvement!



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Love chooses us

I read an article yesterday about a women who received a poem from a boy on her plane ride home one day and how their relationship did not work out. She did find a husband and later concluded that love chooses us. Those three words were so beautiful to me.

Love chooses us.

So many different thoughts run through my mind: my relationship with God, my future husband, my actions, and growing up.

I am currently doing homework on adolescents and I read that the heart doubles in size and capacity during adolescence. I was amazed at that and then realized some of my adolescence years might finally make sense. I spent so many days thinking I was in love and experiencing so many emotions (this still continues to be me as well) and I always wondered why I started to feel this way in middle school. Well, it all makes sense. My heart doubled in size and capacity; it was able to express more and feel more and love more. I thought that was one of the coolest things ever. What a unique time that is in your life. Maybe this is why I have such a desire to work with middle and high school students?

Love chooses us.

Back to this concept on love choosing us. I always believed you can choose what, who, and how to love, but I am realizing that I do not believe that way anymore. I truly believe love chooses us. How do you explain still loving someone after they hurt you? How do you explain the love you feel for someone who is wrong for you in every way? It has always chosen us and for us. Maybe life will start to make a little bit more sense now?

Love chooses us.

The most amazing way love chooses us is God. This relationship was chosen by him; not me. I can never be rid of his love because he chose me to love. How beautiful! His love chose us. This relationship has been hard, difficult, confusing, frustrating, and crazy in so many ways, but it has always been filled with love. Love not chosen by us, but love that chose us.

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