Vulnerability

If there is one thing I have learned from the last two years of being in graduate school, living in Seattle, and forming a relationship with my soon-to-be-husband, it is that communication requires a lot of vulnerability.

I always thought I was really good at stating my needs, wants, and desires, but truth is I am not.

And I started to wonder why that was the other day.

Why do I feel scared when I'm about to tell my fiance how I really feel about something?

Why do I avoid stating my beliefs in class?

Why is it so easy for me to give advice to others but not accept my own?

And I pondered and realized because vulnerability is right around the corner about to pop out at me when I am in these moments. 

When I tell my fiance my feelings or my hurt I am being vulnerable.

When I speak my truth in class I am being vulnerable.

When I accept my own advice I am being vulnerable. 

And it is so scary.

Vulnerability is hard.

It requires you to stop hiding, to be transparent, and to be wholly you.

It asks you to step onto new terrain with someone or something and hope that you won't be left alone, that you will be understood and heard and known.

But there is beauty when your vulnerability is held and known.

When your fiance listens, responds, and allows your needs to be validated. Your wants allowed. And your desire accepted.

It is beautiful when you are able to share your truth and feel confident that your truth is yours to have and it does not matter if its not the same for another.

And it is beautiful when you can take your own advice and run with it to the end.

I'm not sure where you are in life but I hope you're engaging your vulnerability and that you are discovering people who push you to be vulnerable, who require it of you, and ask it of you.

Because I truly believe that your vulnerability is beautiful, it is welcomed, and it is desired.

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