What I Learned from a Year of Counseling

Today I finished my 40th hour of counseling required of my masters program. Since last July, I have been seeing the same woman every Monday at 10 a.m. I'll be honest and say it was not always easy. When is working on improving who you are ever easy? But I will say it is worth it. A year of counseling teaches you a lot and today I share some of the things I've discovered.

1.    It is possible for a stranger to see who you truly are.

            -I was skeptical at times with my counselor. I thought "There's no way this lady really knows all of me and can even begin the life I've traveled." And guess what, she never admitted she did know all of me or could understand the live I've traveled. She did try to know all of me and try to see life from my shoes. A complete stranger cared enough about me to try and sometimes trying makes all the difference.

2. Whether you think you need counseling or not, just do it.

            -There were so many times I was ready to quit. Some days I felt like I was digging for anything to talk about and other days I had a list of things. But even on those days I felt I had nothing to bring, there was something there. Sometimes it was something I was not saying, sometimes it was something in my unconscious, and often it was just myself lying to myself that I was fine and did not need someone to talk to.

3. It is NOT about the other.

            -What I mean by this is that counseling is not about fixing the other, you know that person who cut you off in traffic, or your mom who yelled at you again, or your boyfriend who cheated on you for the 5th time (Just so you know these do not refer to me, just topics that can come up in counseling). Counseling is about you. It is about exploring who you are, learning your style of relating, discovering more about yourself that you did not know existed, and being real and honest about your life. It is not about your counselor and their agenda; it is simply for you and what you desire.

4. Push through.

            -I learned that if it is not important to me that I will give it up very easily. There were many Monday's where counseling was not a priority for me, but I came. Often I complained about how it was frustrating to be doing something that I am not necessarily choosing. But I pushed through and learned that this is a way I hide sometimes. If you feel like giving it up, maybe it is time for you to give it up, but challenge yourself to push through and I bet you'll discover something about yourself you did not know was there.

5. You're okay.

            -To hear someone say "You're okay" is a beautiful, caring statement. It rings in your ears as acceptance of who you are. It gives you hope that you will overcome or work through whatever is going on in your life. And it gives you some peace about life.

6. The tissue box may become your best friend.

            -Thank God for Kleenexes and a counselor who places them in a convenient place. Welcome this box and accept it. It is there to heal, to hold, and to let you breathe. 

There was so much more I learned along the way, but sharing all is not necessary.

I am thankful for this past year of self-work and having someone who met with me every Monday.

Until next time...

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The Journey to Becoming a Psychologist

Oh, dear Lord, if you would have told me two years ago that the amount of personal work that comes with pursuing a masters in counseling degree I would have questioned you. And that's exactly what I did two years ago. I thought I had done all the work. I went to college and matured, right?

I have wanted to scream this so many times. It is a lie that you mature, find your identity, and any other cliche line they feed you when deciding to pursue a career, a degree, or anything after high school. Maturity comes when you do self-work and for me maturity is coming with pursuing my masters. I totally thought I knew myself through and through. I was going into this work to help others discover themselves, not me. 

Oh Rachel, you were so wrong. 

My masters program requires 40 hours of personal counseling.

I am on the last 4 hours of my 40 required and I am in this odd place.

On the one hand I am so excited to being almost done. I have been dying for the day when I can stop spending around $200 a month to work on myself.

Then there is the other part of me who, as much as it is hard to admit, does not want to end because there is still so much work to do.

And now I have thrown myself in to group counseling on top of individual counseling and I am wondering what in the world I was thinking. Yes, I am learning a lot, but my goodness it is hard. For any of you that do not believe in counseling, go to one group therapy session and you'll see how difficult the work people are doing is. It is good work, but it is so hard to do.

I am not really sure where I was going with this post other then to share part of my life at the moment and this journey I am on to begin my dream career. Be kind to those that pursue to better themselves, to those that go to counseling, leave counseling, or even consider counseling. The journey is not an easy one, but it is a brave one.

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