New Relationship Thought

I am now beginning to see a pattern in my posts. Most of them have to deal with my future or relationships. So with that, I am sorry if you are tired of hearing the same issues present in my life, but I can't help that these are the two things I have been worried about the most lately.

I took a class this semester called Thought Life and Spiritual Growth and we had the author of one of our books come in on Monday and speak to our class. He helped us work through some of our thoughts and emotions and one of those thoughts was the "No ring by spring" ordeal. If you have never heard of this phrase let me explain: Our campus has this mantra of "Ring by Spring" meaning girls have the goal of receiving an engagement ring by the spring of their Senior year. I know you're are probably thinking "But Rachel, you do not have a ring or a boyfriend for that matter so how will you achieve ring by spring?" I won't! And I am soooo okay with that. 

Okay, back to what I was saying. We talked about the purpose of ring by spring which is to receive a piece of jewelery so we know that we are loved. This is where the revelation began. You do not enter a relationship just so you can receive and if you do, maybe you should reconsider your dating habits.

So here is the revelation:

You cannot need something from someone to love them.

Enter into a relationship because of what you can give them, not what they can give you.

Here is my ordeal:

I have been spending the majority of my college career believing I should just date for fun and see what could come of it. Who cares if we just met or if we might be completely wrong for each other? It's just for fun!

Now, I am starting to see how wrong I have been. Yes, I believe dating is okay and I actually encourage you to do it. You find out a lot about yourself when you do, but change the way you think about it. I have gone on dates thinking "what can you provide for me in a relationship?" Saying it out loud just sounds ridiculous, but the majority of people around me do this. 

"I want someone to make out so I am going to date this guy because he can give me that."

"I need someone to cuddle with so I'll hang out with you."

What if I began to pursue relationships not because of what they can do for me, but because of what I can do for them?

Not only has this dramatically changed my dating/relationship idea, but I have also been thinking along these lines as I plan for my future career. I want to be reminded that I am not pursuing the goals I have to benefit from them; I am pursuing them because I want to serve and present my gifts to someone else and say "what can I do for you?" 

I would love to hear your thoughts about this idea of entering a relationship because of what you can give them and not what they can give you. Disagree or agree or be neutral; I'll still love you through it! 

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