The life of a crier...

So have you seen this video before?

Well, if you haven't, click play right now. Then re-watch it after you stop laughing.

Now let me explain why I used this video to describe the life of a crier.

As Kristen says so delicately, "If I am not between a 3 and a 7, then I am crying."

Well, this is the life of a crier. If I am not in those levels, then I can guarantee you can find me crying away. 

If I am angry, sad, happy, frustrated, laughing too hard, choking...whatever it is, I am crying.

You can also find me crying if someone else is or trying to fight the urge to break into tears.

For some odd reason, the big man upstairs deciding to grace me with the ability to cry in all circumstances and sometimes for no reason what so ever.

One day I was doing the laundry and started crying for no reason what-so-ever!

Are any of you bloggers out there criers too? 

Or am I the only one in this gang?

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Dear Rachel

We need to have a talk.

 

Your life has been busy, there is no argument there.

You moved across the country, started graduate school, and began a new job.

You moved into a house with four strangers, you've spent time getting to know people in your program and outside of it.

 

You spend many hours reading, few hours sleeping. and many moments not appreciating.

You keep wanting to jump ahead, but I think you need to slow down and smell the roses.

Yes, I just told you to smell the roses. Pump the brakes and just stop for a minute. Stand outside and appreciate the weather, listen to what your roommate is sharing with you, and be aware of your surroundings.

 

I know you love being busy and all, but just stop it.

Just breathe. Just rest. Just be.

 

The future will still be there if you do this. Your tomorrow is still being granted to you.

Can you just say thank you for this minute, this hour, this day?

Can you just let life be and welcome what is given to you?

 

I want you to love yourself through these changes in your life and to give yourself some grace.

Sometimes you're not going to make the best choices, actually, you're going to make some pretty bad ones, but its okay. Get up, brush the dirt of your knees, and start again.

Forgive yourself and love yourself.

You are not perfect nor were you created to be.

You are human and with that comes the actions of being human.

 

Love yourself dear friend, love yourself.

 

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Feeling Like A Baby

Usually I am not someone who thinks about age. I see people for who they are and not for the number they identify with. However, since I have been in Seattle I have never felt more like a baby. 

In my house, I am the youngest.

At work, I am one of the youngest.

At school, I am one of the youngest.

And I am struggling. No one has purposely labeled me a baby, but its the little actions that make me feel like I am the youngster. I haven't lived as much or learned as much. My opinion isn't as qualified as someone older than me.

Once again, no one has said these to me, but it's hard not feel that these thoughts or words may be passing between people around me. 

Have you ever experienced this feeling? How did you overcome it?

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Brave, Courage, and Haunting

You must listen to this song while you read this post so pres PLAY now.

A dear friend and lovely woman said this the other day at orientation:

"I hope courage haunts you."

I was immediately struck at the beauty of that sentence. To be haunted sounds terrifying, but to be haunted by courage sounds like to biggest gift I could ever receive. Bravery has been my life word for the last month. 

If you didn't know, I moved across the country from all familiarity to a city, a huge one to be exact. I came knowing very few people and moved into an area that I had never lived in. I began a job that I had way too many concerns about and constantly face the new environment every day. I also started dating which is just scary by itself. 

Being brave is what wakes me up every day. I have found myself just turning off my alarm and laying in bed trying to convince myself that I can conquer the day. Some days I lay there for a few minutes and others it seems like an hour. All I can do is be brave. 

I've started grad school and I literally wanted to run away the first day. How did I get here? Do I seriously want to study for another three years? The real answer is no. I do not want to be in school for another three years, but the reason I don't want to is because I know there is going to be a lot of change with grad school. I of course chose a program that not only teaches you, but asks you to take what you learn and apply it to your life. Being brave is the only thing pushing me through it.

So for some odd reason I've invited courage and bravery to haunt me. I have asked them to awake me every morning and to push me when I am choosing to stand back. 

I am choosing to be brave.

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What I've Learned About Seattle and Myself

 1.) The bus will very rarely be on schedule.

2.) Tourists are every where and they will not be leaving anytime soon. 

3.) I can wear whatever I want and look like a fashionista.

4.) It smells like pot everywhere.

5.) There will always be traffic.

6.) Mt. Rainer is always beautiful and breath taking.

7.) Men carry messenger bags.

8.) I will never understand recycling.

9.) Saying "I miss you" on the phone or through text nearly brings me to tears every time. 

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Life Learnings

Let's just say this is not an easy post for me to write because it includes something that I am sad to admit. I have always thought I was that great girl to date--you know the one who is laid back, doesn't care if you take your time, and makes dating easy. Well, apparently not!

I have realized recently that I am bad at allowing people(ahem-guys) to pursue me. I guess I'm what you could call an alpha female. And not that there is anything wrong with being a strong female, but I have slowly come to realize that as a female I need to allow the male population to pursue me.

Why should I do that?

Because I am tired of being the one that makes a relationship happen. I shouldn't have to "make" it happen, I should allow it to happen. Yes, I need to do my part--show my interest, flirt, express how I feel. I don't have to be the one who starts the DTR talk or ask the guy out.

I am not sure how to describe it, but there is something feminine about allowing a man to express his interest with you naturally. Does anyone know what I am talking about or understand?

Can anybody relate? 

I guess I am going through this phase in life where I feel like I have to have it all. Is this a natural feeling for college graduates? 

I keep reminding myself to just breathe and let life come. 

I've finally realized to stop and live life. I fought myself from taking a work shift because I knew I could make good money, but I needed a break and so I told myself no. 

I am sorry this turned into just life and the stuff I am dealing with. Can anyone just assure me that I am okay and I'm where every typical 22 year old is at in life?

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