23 and Trying to Make Friends

I feel like I am in the first day of elementary school or middle school all over again. 

Since moving to Seattle, I have been pretty lonely in the friend department. 

I have made friends at school and with my roommates, but I have not made those friends I find myself texting every few days or thinking I should ask if they want to come to a concert with me.

My boyfriend has been my best friend since I moved out here and while that's a great thing, I also know he cannot be the only best friend I have out here. Life is really unfair sometimes. My best friends from high school and college are all in different states. We have a quality friendship and I miss them. We worked hard for those friendships and I guess I am being lazy and not wanting to do that with someone else again.

I think I am also scared of being hurt. I've been hurt by so many friendships before and I do not want to go through that again. But I am lonely in the friendship department. It should have been easy to make friends, but my problem is that the people at school hangout on the weekends and the weekend is my 9-5 work day. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday's are the days I work the most which conflicts with all those people's days off. 

I know I cannot blame my loneliness on work though. I really have not tried. Why don't they just pair you with someone when you move somewhere new and they have to become your new best friend? That would be so much easier. 

I know I am not the first blogger in this world to post about this, so I am asking for your help.

What did you do to make friends? Is it silly to turn to young adult groups or online to meet new friends? How do you break down the walls you've built to keep your self safe? Also, how do you find a friend who thinks all these e-cards are the most hilarious things ever?

For your lovely and free advice, here's my first rafflecopter giveaway. I won a giveaway that gave me a free handbag and a gift certificate with it. The gift certificate has been sitting in my email for months now and I figured I should give someone else the chance to get a beautiful bag from Handbag Heaven. They have beautiful bags, clutches, and laptop sleeves. It's only a $10 gift certificate, but if you are a handbag queen then you should enter!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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ASL

So many times people assume television is a waste of time or useless. Sometimes this is true, I watch some pretty horrible, trashy tv. Switched at Birth is different thought.

Yes, it has all the drama a tv show needs, but it it also teaching me.

The show revolves around a deaf community and daughter so throughout the show I have been learning little pieces of sign language. And it reminded me of the class I took when I was little learning sign language.

I went out and bought a book to teach me more. And being the dreamer I am, I began to dream about how I could use sign language in my daily life and future. I thought about how I could use it as a counselor. I am sure I would not be the only one, but I have not met a counselor the speaks ASL. What if I became a counselor who could take on clients who use ASL? 

My only fear is that I do not finish learning the ASL signs. I start projects a lot of them and then do not finish them, but I really want to finish this one. I know school will start again in a few months and I'm afraid that I will stop once it starts up again.

Why is so easy to quit stuff sometimes? I go through these phases when I feel super motivated and other times I search forever for motivation. And then I wonder why I am so scared of quitting this learning experience. Is it the end of the world if I do quit? I know the answer is no, its not the end of the world. 

What do you do when you find yourself un-motivated to finish something? I am sure there's no right way, but I'm curious.

If I can figure out technology, I'd like to make some video blogs teaching you all what I am learning so be looking out for those videos to come!

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Missing this space

My blogging has been minimal lately and I will not lie...

I miss this space.

But part of me also feels like this space is not the same for me anymore.

The graduate school journey for me requires that I share my passion, heart, and life with my cohort and the idea of sharing it on here as well seems plain exhausting.

But I still miss this area.

I miss my 5 day's a week blogging goal and I miss the community of it.

Reading blogs throughout this school year got me through many long classes, but I could never convince myself to write blog posts during those classes. I think I wrote just a few blog posts while I was in class. I've been thinking lately that I need to get back into a routine of blogging, but some of the things I want to write about scares me. 

I am scared ya'll might think I am crazy, weird, or think I shouldn't be sharing some of the stuff I want to share. But this year of graduate school has changed me a lot. I've learned that everyone has a story about their family of origin and that we all have a tragedy story. I've learned that I'm a racist and that I treat people of different skin color badly. I've learned that my faith has changed dramatically and it may never return to the place it once was. I could go on and on, but I am not sure you want to hear it all.

Yet these are the things I want to write about, but I'm scared you may judge me.

Can I write about what I learned in my multicultural class?

Can I write about my family of origin?

Can I write about my lost faith?

Will you still receive my words with kindness and grace?

I want to return to this space, but part of me says I can't and I don't know what to do with that.

Am I in a blogging rut? Is this normal for bloggers? 

Does any body have answers for me?

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It's Almost Here!

I am sure you may be asking "What's almost here, Rachel?"

Well let me just tell you...

The time for two months of non-school related life is almost here. 

As of today I have two classes, two group presentations, and one final paper keeping me from summer break.

That's all I have left to finish!

You'd think this would be normal for me because I've only been through this life for the last five years, but I have never been more excited for a break ever in my life!

I am giddy just thinking about.

I am sure you're wondering what I am going to do with all this free time that will be opening up for me.

Well let me just tell you...

I am going to start by seeing this man on Tuesday with my man.

I mentioned how much I wanted to see him in concert again, but I talked myself out of going because I still cannot get over at how expensive concert tickets are. Thankfully, I talked myself into paying the $125.00 for two tickets. I also get to see Matthew Nathanson and Mary Lambert. I am more excited to see Mary than Matthew because she is a Seattle local known for singing with Mackelmore in the Same Love video.

And then I am going to teach myself during this time off. I started watching this tv show a few weeks ago:

If you have not seen it, one of the girls in the show is deaf and I have been learning little pieces of sign language from watching it. When I was in elementary school, I took a class learning sign language but never continued with it. I so want to spend the two months off practicing sign language and implementing it into my life.

I am also probably going to do lots of reading for fun because I have not been able to do that for 9 months now. It's about time.

I am also open to suggestions on how I should spend these two beautiful months of summer. Part of it will be working lots of course because Seattle ain't cheap and I will also be moving to a new place at the end of July so there's that too.

Anything you think I should do during these two months? Any Seattle secrets you have for me?

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My 9 to 5 #TOTALSCOIAL

I have not had much inspiration in the blogging area lately, but this link-up is sch an easy write that I could not avoid joining it.

As most people who have read this blog before, part of my 9 to 5 is being a student. With that said, that means my hours are rarely 9 to 5 anything. Some days I am in school from 2-8 p.m. and other days I am in school from 9:30-2:30.

Much of my school days look like this:

 This is actually the building I walk into for school. It used to be an old suitcase factory so there is vintage suitcases all over the building. 

 While this is not me in class, it describes a lot of what I do in class. I make to-do lists, blog or read blogs, and typically drink some kind of coffee.

And this is what it looks like if I am actually doing my school work. Sometimes I just cannot handle it anymore that I have to lay down on top of it to let it sink into my mind.

The other part of my 9 to 5 is working at The Cheesecake Factory.

I know, I know, you all love that place!

I love it most of the time too, especially since it is the perfect job to have in graduate school.

It is great money and flexible with my constantly changing school schedule.

Here's some things people do not know about working at the factory though:

-You know how big that menu is? Well, it's so big that before you can be hired you have to pass a written exam and a food idea exam. Yeah, they're that serious about their food

-Every six months the menu changes which is why sometimes you're surprised your favorite item is not on there. If an item is not selling, we get rid of it.

-The bread you call the brown bread is actually whole wheat bread. Who da thunk?

-Some of those items you think are vegetarian are not actually vegetarian. If you are a serious veggie only eater, then make sure to ask your server to guarantee it is 100% vegetarian. We use beef and chick stock in a lot of stuff.

 This is what I do after a shift, I count all that money I made and then it disappears quickly because living in Seattle is expensive and I have a Starbucks addiction.

This is not me at The Cheesecake Factory because we do not wear black there, but this is a picture of me serving. I've been in this industry for 8 years now. I started when I was 16 as a hostess and moved up from there. It's a hard industry to get out of.

Feel free to ask anymore questions about The Cheesecake Factory or tell me your favorite dish!

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Remember that time I said I was quitting school?

So a month or two ago I wrote about how I wanted to take some time off from school.

Well...guess who changed her mind again?

Shocking, right?

I sometimes make a big decision a little too quickly and then tell the whole world about it.

Pretty common for 20 year old's I think.

After spending weeks applying for jobs, I only had one interview scheduled with a college that I ended up cancelling because of the horrible job reviews I read about.

Plus, I cancelled because at that point I decided I should finish graduate school.

Here is my thought process.

1.) I don't want to be called a quitter. I always said I wanted to finish graduate school and I am going to.

2.) I've devoted a whole year to this program and I do not want to start over. It was a hard first year and it should not be wasted.

3.) In order to decrease the stress and the mundane-ness I was experiencing, I am moving to a four year track. This means I will graduate in June 2017. It also means an average of 5 credits per semester except for this coming fall which will still be a 9 credit semester because of two classes I want to take. 

4.) I can work more with this schedule as well and will be done with school in April of 2017 allowing me two months to search for a job before my graduation ceremony.

This is probably what I should have done all along, but sometimes you have to realize it yourself. Everyone surrounding me wanted me to finish school and adding on a year for it does not change the fact that I will complete it.

So thank you to all who sent warm thoughts and prayer my way. I believe I received them and very much appreciated it.

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