The First Goodbye

Tess and I have been best friend since 3rd grade. You can read her post about how we met

 on my first impressions post.

This girl has watched me grow up, go through numerous breakups, cry over the most ridiculous things, and supported me through everything. She listens to every thing I say and calls me out when I need it. I act like a complete goof-ball and hilarious Rachel is present when she is around. Now she is moving to L.A. to begin her dream of working in the film industry. I cannot believe she is the first to leave. I have been on edge of tears for the last month. Two weeks ago I couldn't even say when she was leaving without tearing up. This week I couldn't even say her name without feeling the tears come on. I am writing this post in advance for the reason that I will be balling my eyes out today because my best friend is not in the room next door, less than a 20 minute drive away, and no longer working by my side at work.

 

In honor of her, we had a fun little adventure to celebrate our friendship and give her some moments to say goodbye to her life here.

 

We started the night at steak n' shake because the west coast does not have one! Can you believe that? Where is she going to get the best steak burger ever? And if you do not know what a steak burger is, well, that's very unfortunate.

 

During the evening we went on a country drive as it was tradition to do these while we were in our undergrad. These drives always led to deep discussions about our lives and our futures. It was a beautiful day so we drove with the windows down and admired farm life.

We made a visit to the school Tessa and I met at and played on the Adams playground. It had been years since we both had been here and it was crazy to remember that this was the coolest thing about elementary school.



And of course we visited the home I remember spending numerous nights in. Lucky for us, the owner of the house let us peruse the house again and show Michelle where we had sleepovers and parties. 

Tessa's old childhood bedroom. It was green when she lived in it. 

 

 And one of my favorite parts of the night was going to Kohl's to find our own "Sisterhood of the traveling pants" idea. We of course got a purple scarf because purple is all of our favorite colors and scarfs can be worn in all three states we will all live in. Tessa is taking it first to California along with the journal we will be passing along with it. Michelle will get it next for the start of graduate school and then me!

And we had to end the night with some karaoke. Tessa's mom joined us and sang some songs with us. We laughed a lot and were the youngest people in the joint so we definitely sang all the teenie-bopper songs we grew up with. 

 

We ended the night writing where we see each other in the next 5 and 10 years, guessing who would get married first, have the next kid, move in with their in-laws, and many more things.

 

To even try to explain to you how much this girl means to me is not even possible. She's my friend, role model, counselor, and so much more. My heart is heavy today and I am cherishing the time we've had together.

I look forward to Thanksgiving break where we will hopefully be re-united together living it up in L.A.

 

Love you Tess!

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Conviction

With my move out from Anderson and preparing for a move to Seattle, I have been going through things deciding what I can live without or cannot live without. In the process, I ran across pictures from friends of all walks of life and the memories began to fill my mind. There are countless stories of adventure and fun, but I was also reminded of the pain and hurt from these relationships. Over the years, we have changed-some of us still have friendships today and others of us not so much or at all. 

Through the process I was able to see my role in these fall-outs and it saddened me that I got caught up in the drama or that I instilled pain/hurt into these individuals who were so close to me. While I fully believe we have individuals in our lives for all different kinds of seasons, it does not dull the fact that they were once important to me and that it was a relationship I cherished. 

I was convicted of the pain or hurt I was still carrying. They say grudges age you immensely and I do not want wrinkles on my face to show those grudges. I want laugh marks and smile lines. My point is to say that whether the relationship is gone or still going, remember the good times. The bad times or tough times can shape you, but they are not what matter in the end. In the end, its important to remember what they added to your life, what they taught you, what they meant to you and what they mean to their creator.

Cherish life, cherish those around you, and cherish the life you've been given. 

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Mi amiga's

So no one told me that the 5 months leading up to graduation would be filled with mini-mental break down moments of realizations.

Realizations of knowing you will have to say goodbye to your best friends.

Realizations of knowing you will have to pack up your entire life and move across the country.

Realizations of knowing you will have to continue to take out student loans and be forever in debt.

Realizations of knowing you will have to start over at a new school and make friends...again.

I never realized how much I took it for granted that I have always been within an hour of my best friends or in a room right next to them. The sisterhood of the traveling pants did not prepare me for this. Now, the Hills did, but they also prepared me for a butt-load of drama that I never wanted.

Excuse me, but why do they not tell you this during Freshman Orientation:

"Oh, and just so you know- those people we keep telling you are going to be your future bridesmaids and the friends you will go on awesome adventures with- yeah you will all decide to live in different states hours away from each other and will probably only see them once a year if that."

I think that's some pretty important information to share with freshman Rachel, Tessa, and Michelle. 

All of us find ourselves saying "you're leaving me" or "next year during this time we will all be in different states."

All true, but all so hard to hear. The month of April for the three of us will probably consist of a ton of tears. And let's not even talk about when we all have to say goodbye to each other. 

Let's face it besties-we're going to suffer from puffy eyes for three months!

 

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Best Friends

I started my last semester of my Undergrad this past week and a lot hit me.

One of the things that hit me hard was the realization that this will be the last time I go to school with my two best friends. It is the last time we can enjoy chapel together or walk around campus as students together. The tears are not coming yet, but the reality of our different paths is sinking in.

 

Tess is going to California to begin a career in the film industry. She and I will be the closest for at least 3 years, but a 16 hour drive is not one you can do in a day. We have been best friends since 3rd grade and I am not ready to be apart. I want to still share a house with my best friend and be called out in our Psychology classes for talking or laughing too much. I want people to continue to know me because they know Tessa or vice-verse. 

Michelle is staying in Indiana and going to graduate school. She became my best friend and my first roommate ever. We were fast friends and made it through freshman year together, side by side. Not only do I leave her, but I leave the little love-bug she created. My love for her mother spread to her quickly and she was what brought all three of us together.  

 

While I know I still have time before we do our real goodbyes, I can feel the tears coming. It will be an exciting time for all of us, but we will all miss each other more than we can imagine.

 

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