Thoughts in My Head

When Christmas break roles around, I tend to find myself thinking a lot about everything.

Lately the thoughts have been about school and the future.

For some reason, I am having such a hard time wanting to be in school and finish it.

Maybe it's because I needed to take a year off, but then I think about working in a restaurant full-time and I have no desire whatsoever to do that. 

I spent two hours yesterday looking at jobs that I would be willing to drop out of school for, but they all resulted in me needing a masters. Being in school is the only way I can do my dream and it's a little frustrating. I have always been a hands own learner. Lecturing has never been my way of learning. While I love what I am being taught, I want to run out the door and use it.

Yes, of course I can do exactly that, but I want to start my future. I want to start counseling and working the 9-5 hours. Is that weird?

"The best things in life cannot be rushed."

"Don't rush something you want to last forever."

Is it wrong that I want to rush through grad school so I can finally start what I have been working on so hard for the last five years? I just want to start the dream that is in my head.

I am loving life and where I am at, but its hard to stop my mind from wondering about whats to come. I finished my first semester much better than I thought which is encouragement to keep going.

Am I the only 22 year old feeling this way or is this exactly what every 22 year old goes through at this age?

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January Goals

I've got some big goals this year, but let's start small.

This month my goals are:

1.) Do not buy any new clothes except possibly a new swim-suit. ---My closet has plenty of nice things in it and while I always think it could use more I'd like to not spend any money on it.

2.) Do not eat out unless on date night. By far I waste too much money eating out and not cooking at home. Thanks to the boyfriends mother I have a new crock-pot and want to make more meals at home.

3.) Drink 60 oz. of water a day. I drink too much caffeine and my body feels it. It's time to be better to my body in that department. 

4.) Pay at least $100 towards my undergrad loans. They have already accumulated interested and I'd like to start the process of paying some of it back.

Any loan paying processes you suggest for a graduate student who works part time?

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2014 Goals

A bad habit I am going to break is...biting my pens. 

My goodness I am the worst at this and always so embarrassed to let people borrow them when asked. 

A new skill I'd like to learn is...how to change my oil. 

Thanks to my man who is a car guy I believe this will be easily accomplished.

A person I hope to be more like is...Ellen DeGeneres.

The woman is giving and always chooses the positive over the negative. Plus she is always the life of the party. 

A good deed I am going to do is...buy other people coffee at least once a month. 

Why not treat people to something they love because they ordered it?

A place I'd like to visit is...Mexico/Catalina Island.

I am cheating with this one because I know it is for sure going to happen.

A book I'd like to read is...The new duck dynasty book.

I'll probably end up finishing it before 2014. Whoops!

A letter I am going to write is...to my grandmother. 

She sends me letters often and I want to do the same.

A new food I'd like to try is...Moroccan or Indian.

I'm going to do better at...giving hugs.

I am the worst at this and I have no idea why.

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2013--One of the best Years Ever!

Every year has its ups and downs, but I have really loved this year.

And, of course, here is why:

1.) I graduated from college! It only took four years, but I graduated with two degrees and alongside my besties.

2.) I moved to the beautiful state of Washington to Seattle and fell even more in love with the city.

3.) I lost 20 pounds and I wasn't even trying. I am not trying to brag. I was more surprised than anyone. I was fine with my body but walking at work and around Seattle did my body good.

4.) And the best part of 2014 was meeting this guy. He makes me laugh out loud constantly, loves my quirks, and picks me up when I'm feeling low. He has been my most favorite part of 2013. 

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Some Questions Before 2014

Found these questions to be inspiring and reflective and thought I'd share my responses with you all.

1.) What am I most proud of this year?

I finally actually did what I said I would do for the past two years and moved to Seattle for graduate school. I left the life I was used to and threw myself into a new world that I have come to love so much. 

2.) How can I become a better person?

Continue to be more self-aware and work on the goals I have for myself such as:

shop less

save more

rest often

love deeper

give better

3.) Where am I feeling stuck?

I am not feeling stuck anywhere at the moment and that may be a first in my life.

4.) Where do I need to allow myself grace?

School. I am in a graduate program that focuses less on the textbook answer and more on your personal discovery process. I realize I see the negative in me more than the positive and it is time to remember how beautiful I am. 

5.) Am I passionate about my career?

Yes and no. Counseling is still a desire, but I may not be as passionate for it as I used to be. Right now the goal is just to get through graduate school and then see what happens.

6.) What lessons have I learned?

Life always involves risk so go for it.

Love is always hungry and will never be satiated.

We all have stories that can explain us and the life we come from.

Distance can pull you together.

Growing up is hard.

7.) What did my finances look like?

The beginning of the year there was no finances, but now that I have a great paying job there is money to provide for myself and work on planning a future for me. 

8.) How did I spend my free time?

Lots of Ellen video watching, shopping, and working.

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Surviving Grad School 101

Today is the day I can finally say I survived my first semester of graduate school.

Only 8 semesters to go! Oh boy!

This time last year I was playing with the idea of moving to Seattle to start this crazy school and a few weeks later made the commitment to attend. For those of you considering the graduate school student life, here are some ways to survive.

1.) You MUST become best friends with Starbucks or some kind of coffee joint. This is the only way you will survive off the lack of sleep that ensues from working and doing school because lets be real--you can't go to graduate school and not have a job unless your dad is Mr. Banks. 

2.) Have a day that you say is for extra studying, but is actually for extra sleep, laundry doing, showering longer than 8 minutes, or for shopping. Thursdays were my day off from work, my day to go to counseling, and my day to walk into Target without any guilt. Yes, I tended to study because I am an over-achiever, but it was nice to know I didn't have to.

3.) Make a YouTube playlist every month. Have a song that you can't get out of your head? Play it on repeat while you write paper after paper. Seriously, I made a playlist of maybe just five songs each month and listened to them over and over again.

4.) Have people who do not want to talk about your degree program. For me, this happened to my boyfriend. He always asked me about my program, but luckily psychology language is not his first language so he allowed me to disengage from it when I chose.

5.) Have a great support system. My friends have been great in encouraging me and making sure I am surviving. You need someone to call you to make sure you are up in time for your test or to turn in your paper. 

6.) Watch Ellen videos at least twice a week. When you need a break from studying, go watch her. She will give you that quick laugh fix you need to stay sane.

7.) Be okay with surfing the internet while sitting in class. For some reason, grad classes seem to be freaking long. But guess what?! You are an adult and can choose to give yourself a five minute break of surfing the web when you can't focus anymore. Do NOT feel guilty for it.

8.) TREAT YO SELF! My friends from Parks and Recreation taught me this. Finished a paper and craving Qdoba? TREAT YO SELF. You read a chapter for class? TREAT YO SELF TO ELLEN. You finished finals? TREAT YO SELF TO THAT FORMAL DRESS FOR THAT FORMAL EVENT WITH YOUR MAN.

And this is how you survive the first semester. 

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Dear Christy, Katie, and Kara

I started reading the last installment to one of my favorite book series and realized I have some words to share with some of my favorite non-fictional characters.

Christy Miller Series by Robin Jones Gunn

Dear Christy,

       Where do I even start? I envisioned being you in high school. I wanted to have the strong faith you had and the guy who is willing to wait to date you until you both feel as if God is ready for it. I strove to wait for my own Todd and for a guy who is as great as him. I studied my bible, went to youth group, went on missions trips, and prayed like it was my job because that's what you did. I had fights with my best friend about whether I was more like Christy or Katie and I truly believe I was you in real life. Who knows, maybe I am. Because of you I now cannot date a guy who is unbeliever, doesn't love my family, or who is not willing to wait for me. I don't know whether to thank you or cry because it's going to take some time to find him. All I know is you made me a better person and still do when I reminiscence about our days together.

Love Rachel

Katie Weldon Series by Robin Jones Gunn

Dear Katie,

     I love you! To be honest, I think I am more like you than Christy. We have the spunk, the random freak outs, and the awkwardness thing going for us. Plus it helps I was once a red-head as well and I have dated some duds too. You have been my favorite character to turn to when it comes to my life. You have your honest doubts about faith, you questions whether the next step is really meant to be, and you have the strength to end a relationship that could workout in the future because your desire to follow God's will for you personally is more important. I do not even know how to thank you for your current wisdom and encouragement to continue down the path I am going. You, my friend, have been a life-savior and a reminder to keep fighting for what you believe in and want.

Love Rachel

The Guy I'm Not Dating by Trish Perry

Dear Kara,

      Oh my friend, we have had some great laughs. You are me and I am you. We are clumsy, hilarious, and down-to-earth. We both have given up on dating to fulfill God's desire for whats best for us. We both say things out loud we shouldn't and we both interpret situations in the wrong way at times. What I love most about you is your prayer-warrior status. If something is wrong, you turn to prayer and I wish I still did that. When I am down in my luck, I remember you and your faithfulness to God and then I pray. You are inspiration that not-dating can lead to marriage; friendship is more important and that more can blossom when you take your time. Thanks for always making me laugh out loud and reminding me I have something better in store for my life.

Your dear friend Rachel

Do you all have book characters that you find yourself connecting to so well? Who are they and whats the book? I'd love to check them out

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