The First Goodbye

Tess and I have been best friend since 3rd grade. You can read her post about how we met

 on my first impressions post.

This girl has watched me grow up, go through numerous breakups, cry over the most ridiculous things, and supported me through everything. She listens to every thing I say and calls me out when I need it. I act like a complete goof-ball and hilarious Rachel is present when she is around. Now she is moving to L.A. to begin her dream of working in the film industry. I cannot believe she is the first to leave. I have been on edge of tears for the last month. Two weeks ago I couldn't even say when she was leaving without tearing up. This week I couldn't even say her name without feeling the tears come on. I am writing this post in advance for the reason that I will be balling my eyes out today because my best friend is not in the room next door, less than a 20 minute drive away, and no longer working by my side at work.

 

In honor of her, we had a fun little adventure to celebrate our friendship and give her some moments to say goodbye to her life here.

 

We started the night at steak n' shake because the west coast does not have one! Can you believe that? Where is she going to get the best steak burger ever? And if you do not know what a steak burger is, well, that's very unfortunate.

 

During the evening we went on a country drive as it was tradition to do these while we were in our undergrad. These drives always led to deep discussions about our lives and our futures. It was a beautiful day so we drove with the windows down and admired farm life.

We made a visit to the school Tessa and I met at and played on the Adams playground. It had been years since we both had been here and it was crazy to remember that this was the coolest thing about elementary school.



And of course we visited the home I remember spending numerous nights in. Lucky for us, the owner of the house let us peruse the house again and show Michelle where we had sleepovers and parties. 

Tessa's old childhood bedroom. It was green when she lived in it. 

 

 And one of my favorite parts of the night was going to Kohl's to find our own "Sisterhood of the traveling pants" idea. We of course got a purple scarf because purple is all of our favorite colors and scarfs can be worn in all three states we will all live in. Tessa is taking it first to California along with the journal we will be passing along with it. Michelle will get it next for the start of graduate school and then me!

And we had to end the night with some karaoke. Tessa's mom joined us and sang some songs with us. We laughed a lot and were the youngest people in the joint so we definitely sang all the teenie-bopper songs we grew up with. 

 

We ended the night writing where we see each other in the next 5 and 10 years, guessing who would get married first, have the next kid, move in with their in-laws, and many more things.

 

To even try to explain to you how much this girl means to me is not even possible. She's my friend, role model, counselor, and so much more. My heart is heavy today and I am cherishing the time we've had together.

I look forward to Thanksgiving break where we will hopefully be re-united together living it up in L.A.

 

Love you Tess!

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Becoming more Me

 

 

The beauty of the Seattle school is its attendees have beautiful wording.

I have a mentor at the school who has been emailing me about what is to come and answering questions I have regarding the school. My mentor replied the other day with this beautiful poem and encouragement.

 

The Journey, by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew 
what you had to do, and began, 
though the voices around you 
kept shouting 
their bad advice—
though the whole house 
began to tremble 
and you felt the old tug 
at your ankles. 
"Mend my life!" 
each voice cried. 
But you didn't stop. 
You knew what you had to do, 
though the wind pried 
with its stiff fingers 
at the very foundations, 
though their melancholy 
was terrible. 
It was already late 
enough, and a wild night, 
and the road full of fallen 
branches and stones. 
But little by little, 
as you left their voices behind, 
the stars began to burn 
through the sheets of clouds, 
and there was a new voice 
which you slowly 
recognized as your own, 
that kept you company 
as you strode deeper and deeper 
into the world 
determined to do 
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Peace to you, Rachel. You are taking a step to becoming more you, and I am glad. 

 

I almost cried reading this because I knew I will be experiencing many of the emotions that the poem describes. Everyone I have talked to describes the first year as one of many changes, disturbances, and an unraveling of sorts. That sounds terrifying, right?

 

Even though it scares the crap out of me, I am so ready for it. I am ready to face the first year and see what becomes of me after a year. I already feel myself becoming more of me, but I know this time next year I will be even more of the individual I want to be and should be. Great journeys are to come; I hope you continue to follow me on it.



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Dear Indy,

If you have been following for a while, then you know that this is Indy:

 

 

 

 

She is a camp counselor, a hidden identity, and sometimes a white Storm for Superhero night.

 

As I was packing up some of my room this weekend, I found this lovely letter that Indy wrote to herself.

 

 

Dear Indy,

 

This summer has been a year of first for you: leaving home for the summer, tubing, blobbing, camping out under the stars, playing guitar in front of people, and so much more. You spent a summer working for God and allowing Him to work in mysterious ways. You made some awesome friendships and relationships you will not forget.

 

Remember all the joy you shared at camp, all the tears of laughter and sorrow, and all the hugs from campers. You made a difference; God used you to make a difference. We were sent out on this path to Washington for a reason: to grow, to love, to experience, to mend and to heal. Don't forget all you learned this summer for it will travel with you forever.

 

 

That Indy-so wise! She knew exactly what would come of her life and how that beautiful place would never leave her heart.

 

Here's to you Indy and the wisdom you have invested into me!

THIS JUST IN: INDY IS MAKING A REAPPEARANCE THIS SUMMER!
I have been blessed with the opportunity to work at camp again this summer which means my move to Seattle is closer than I thought. I have less than a month in Indiana before I move out.
When there is a desire in your heart, God will do his best to make it a reality.
So blessed!



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Confessionals

It's been a while since I've confessed. Actually, it's been my entire life seeing as I am not Catholic.

So who better to confess to than my lovely blog family!

 

I confess....

 

-I lied about my car breaking down in Wisconsin so that I would not have to work the next day. I just wanted to spend some time with my family!

 

-I also purposely skipped work one day and then lied about reading the schedule wrong. Whoops!

 

-That I wear leggings as pants at least 4/7 days of the week. Get off my back!

 

-That I love myself. I think I have great eyes, great hair, and great legs. It's just healthy self-esteem, right?

 

-That I dream of being Celine Dion. The women is funny, musically talented, and has a great accent!

 

-That I want to fall in love and getting married right now. I say I love being single, but let's be real, a ring and a man wouldn't be too bad either.

 

-I am trying to increase my blog traffic. THERE! I said it! I want to turn this into more than something for me. I want others to read it and I want to go on a blog date. Is that too much to ask?

 

Whew! My heart is all cleared now.

Until next time...

4M4TQ6YQYG9S

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#Rachelprobz

Thanks to:

 

 

 

I have been inspired to write problems that have to do directly with me.

Feel free to make fun of me or openly admit these all apply to you as well.

 

1.) I trip over the air at least 2x's a day. #rachelprobz

 

2.) My left arm muscle is bigger than my right because of serving. #rachelprobz

 

3.) I will talk to myself in the car about the things I wish I would have said to people. #rachelprobz

 

4.) I make up my own words and fully believe they are in a dictionary until I look them up and realize it is not a real word. #rachelprobz

5.) I believe that Dr. Pepper from Chick-fil-a tastes better than any other Dr. Pepper in the world. #rachelprobz

6.) I will have at least one bruise on my body each week because I walk into things often. #rachelprobz

7.) I could spend the entire day watching Netflix and not feel bad about myself at all. #rachelprobz

8.) I think I'm an awesome driver, but really I'm the worst. #rachelprobz

9.) I cannot see blood, not even my own without wanting to pass out. #rachelprobz

10.) I can think of my future with the stranger who walks through the door in under five minutes.  #rachelprobz

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Blind Date Night

A few years ago my best friends and I participated in our first blind date experience. It was only supposed to be the three of us, but then it expanded into 9 individuals with blind dates. That's a total of 18 people altogether and it was crowded!

 

For some odd reason, we decided to do it again and keep it to a smaller size this time. While it was not just the three of us, we were able to limit it to 5 blind dates. We spent a week and a half scrambling around trying to find each other dates and I just want to say we did a great job for most of it being last minute. Most dates were found the day before the event or the actual day. We are great!

 

Overall, this was the best blind date experience I have had. We all had a great time and it seemed much more relaxed compared to our first time. It's sad to think we won't have very many opportunities to do things like this together anymore, but I am so grateful we could do it one last time together.

 

We started off the date by grabbing some dinner at Fireside Grill which was delicious. Burgers, wings, and French fries. How can you go wrong?! Then we headed to the batting cage which is where all the pictures to come are from.

 

We hit those balls and laughed as many of us missed some as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And this is the whole group! 5 dates and one odd man out, my awesome brother who just wanted to come for the batting cages.

 

I know blind dates sound scary, but if you do it the way we do they are a lot of fun.

Go try a group blind date and remember to have fun!

 



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Tip Tuesday

I am linking up with Just Jacq today to give you all some blog tips.

 

 

One thing I have been struggling with in the blogging world lately is the number of followers/views my posts get. I've been spending a lot of time trying to increase my views and turn my blog into one people cannot wait to read in the morning. Slowly, I am realizing this does not happen over night and takes a lot of time.

 

With my focus on this, I also remembered why I originally started blogging. I did it just for me which is perfectly fine. You can blog for yourself and never have followers and that is just fine! I started this to write. I don't like my handwriting and I love typing. It's quick and efficient. I wanted a way to record my thoughts and life and blogging ended up being the option I thought was best.

 

So to keep this to a tip:

 

You can blog for yourself and not for anyone else. Just remember why you created this and what you want it to mean for you.

Also check out this awesome blog giveaway! I was never a fan of giveaways, but after winning two in one week I say its worth the time. Plus if you are watching t.v. its an easy time filler!
Go do it!

- See more at: http://www.livinginyellow.com/#sthash.ZvzNb9LZ.dpuf

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Public Transportation

One of my fears of moving to Seattle is public transportation. Because Greenwood, Indiana does not use much public transportation this will be the first time I use it on a daily basis. I am nervous and scared. I don't know how to switch buses or how to make sure I get off at the right stop.

 

 

While I am scared, I was excited to read this quote and for the opportunity to people watch and interact with strangers on a daily basis. Who knows what I will encounter, but I am sure I will be sharing some very awkward and hilarious stories about this tidbit of Seattle life.

 

"Sometimes while I ride the subway I try to look at each person and imagine what they look like to someone who is totally in love with them. I think everyone has had someone look at them that way, whether it was a lover, or a parent, or a friend, whether they know it or not. It’s a wonderful thing, to look at someone to whom I would never be attracted and think about what looking at them feels like to someone who is devouring every part of their image, who has invisible strings that are connected to this person tied to every part of their body. I think this fun pastime is a way of cultivating compassion. It feels good to think about people that way, and to use that part of my mind that I think is traditionally reserved for a tiny portion of people I’ll meet in my life to appreciate the general public. I wish I thought about people like this more often. I think it’s the opposite of what our culture teaches us to do. We prefer to pick people apart to find their flaws. Cultivating these feelings of love or appreciation for random people, and even for people I don’t like, makes me a more forgiving and appreciative person toward myself and people I love. Also, it’s just a really excellent pastime."
-Dean Spade-

P.S. I thought of a great little blog series that I am excited to show you all in the next few weeks. I am still working on creating the posts, but prepare for emotional laughter. And to give you a hint, Taylor Swift music will be involved. Sorry if you hate her, but let's be real her songs describe most of our dating lives.

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Moving On

 

I found this quote on Pinterest the other day and it really hit me. In April, I went through a breakup that was not an easy decision to make and required a lot of reflection from me.  I was still unsure of my decision a month later so I dug deeper into why I was struggling with moving on. I tend to be very bad about the end of relationships. When I end it, I feel fine for the first few weeks and then it all hits me a few weeks later and I cry, cry, cry.

 

This breakup was different. I was fine for two hours and then I lost it. I felt helpless, loveless, and confused beyond belief. I did not understand why I was fluctuating through these emotions so rapidly. One minute laughing and smiling the next sobbing. I eventually was able to keep myself composed most days and not dwell on what happened, but I knew I needed to spend more time thinking through why this was difficult and why I felt the way I did.

 

So I spent a week thinking through why I felt the way I did and why I no longer needed to feel this way.

Of course I felt the way I did because I cared about him. I cared about him as an individual, as my boyfriend, and as a human being.

I felt this way because I wanted it to work out, but had to deal with the fact not everything we want happens.

I felt this way because ending a relationship is never easy.

 

I needed to move on because that's what you do to heal yourself.

I needed to move on to prepare myself for what is to come and to be ready to take it head on.

I needed to move on because it felt right to.

 

This quote hit home and reminded me of the process of ending relationships whether its romantic or friendly.



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Hangover Part III

Two summers ago my roommates and I saw The Hangover Part II before I left for Washington.

I left the theater shocked and wondering if they would create a third one.

Well, they did. I was hesitant to see it, but I knew I wanted to see it with my roommates before we all embarked on our journeys. We of course saw it the Wednesday before it came out.

 

 

This one was much better than the second one. I laughed a lot and I did not feel uncomfortable at all. It is a bit more serious than the other two, but I think it helps bring closure to the end. I think I loved Alan's character in this movie more than the others. The guy is just a goofball and he makes the movies.

 

Go see it for yourself.

My brother didn't like it, but I did.

Let me know what you think.



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Current Reads

 

Sorry it's sideways, I can't figure out why.

 

Her And Me And You

by Lauren Strasnick

 

This was definitely an interesting read. It pulls you in quick, but leaves you hanging in the end. The whole time I thought the twins in the story were magical or something, but it turns out they aren't. If you are looking for a fast read, then this is your book. I started it on a Saturday and was done by Sunday morning so I spent a total of 2 hours reading in total.

 



Helpful for sure, but I also skimmed through it. I did not read it in depth as I really only wanted to read up on making your blog profitable and how to use social media. If you are new to blogging, then I definitely suggest reading it. It will help you understand the basics of blogging and how to get it started.

 

I also started to read this book, but I do not think I will finish it. For the longest time, I have been interested in the Columbine tragedy. Manly trying to hear the stories of those it affected and to understand why two teenagers could do this to their peers and families. This book looks into Rachel Scott's journals and her walk with Christ. It seems like a good read for middle and high school girls who are wanting to develop their faith. This was one of the books I had on my reading list for the summer so I am marking it off because it is not something I wish to read all the way through.



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Pizza Dip and Quotes

Pizza Dip

 

This took less than 30 minutes to make and it was delicious. I took it over to our first summer work employee event and half of it was gone before it even started. I cut out the peppers and olives for mine based on limited amount of time to make it and no care for those vegetables.

 

 

I saw this quote on pinterest and instantly fell in love with it. As I was trying to figure out what to give my roommates/best friends for graduation, this quote came to mind and I thought I would attempt to create my own version. I made one for each of us and this is what turned out.

 

 

I have another one in pink, but have not taken a picture of it. I also made them a little bit different from the original inspiration.

 

I am not sure what I will create next month, but I will definitely let you know how it turned out!

 



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HIGH FIVE FOR FRIDAY

For months now, I have been following Lauren Elizabeth HIGH FIVE FOR FRIDAY but I have never participated in the link up. This was one of my monthly goals and I am so excited to present to you my first HIGH FIVE FOR FRIDAY.

It's been a long week here and I am ready to share some pictures from this busy, but great week.

 

 

Delicious Barbecue Chicken Pineapple Quesadillas with my dad.

Spending time with this cutie making her look like a ninja turtle.

Reading a book about healing from relationships and asking myself some tough questions.

Breakfast for dinner-a first for me.

Encouragement from a woman who knows me like a daughter.

 

 



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My Current Status

Oh my rollercoaster of emotions .

Some days it feels like nothing can weigh me down and other days I am dragging my baggage.

The sunshine has been my friend lately, but the rainy days bring in the past.

I wonder about the what ifs and what could have happened.

I know you are not supposed to dwell on the past, but sometimes it's too difficult not to.

You run past a park that reminds you or you eat at a restaurant that you associate with someone.

There are so many things that just remind you and make you wonder.

And it's not only with the past, but with the future as well.

What is to come; what will be?

My curiosity is killing me. I just want to know.

Can I please just have a book with my life mapped out?

I know its impossible and it would take away the excitement of life if it was real, but I'd at least like to have a better idea of what's ahead.

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Weekly Thanks #3

First off, I am thankful for the blog giveaways that I was blessed to win this week. In my three years of blogging, I have never won and I rarely enter. This week I was very lucky to win not only one, but two.

 

Much thanks to Lesley at  By the Porchlight and Shane at Whispering Sweet Nothings

 

 

Hanging out with these two little cuties! They are destined to be together.

Waiting at the airport for my grandmamma to come in from England!

Shopping and goodbye dinners with the British invasion folk.

 

Bridal Parties and Open Houses.

 

Going to the casino for the first time with my best friends and winning $0.90 along with being paid $10 just for coming.

 

"Rest and Be Thankful"

-William Wordsworth-

 

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Bachelorette: Live Thoughts

Brooks really looks like Van from Reba. Anyone in agreement with me?

 

 

Really? Trying on wedding dresses and suits the first time? And he says it was silly and fun? Yeah right! He would be running for the hills; it's their first date!

 

Oh well isn't this great. Perfect date with the Hollywood Sign and now they are lost. She says lets move the blockades and drive down the closed road. Right, not sketchy at all or totally planned.

 

ANDY GRAMMAR! Love him, what a blown out first date!

 

Soulja Boi? Really?

 

Brandon's rap video outfit, yeah he's going home.

 

I think making a rap video as a date was a horrible idea. What happened to the regular date?

 

Oh and Soulja Boi! He is so cute, how come I never knew that?

 

Worst rap video ever.

 

Fun fact: The house in the rap video is the same one used in The Hangover Part III

 

Is it just me or is guys asking if they can kiss you before they do a little un-romantic?

 

Random Fact: I always want ice cream while watching the bachelor or bachelorette. This show is not my friend.

 

Yes, Bryden got the second one on one date. Love him!

 

I've never understood why the guys share such intimate information at the beginning of the show. It just seems rushed.

 

Ben got a rose again. I am just not sure about him.

 

I want to marry BRYDAN! His werewolf look is so sexy and he just plan cute!

 

She literally attacked his face for that kiss!

 

Live tweeting and blogging is time consuming. I keep getting distracted.

 

"The group of guys just makes me so happy"-Des

Umm duh! What woman would say that is the worst time of her life?

 

Will (blames it on the friend zone), Robert, and Nick M were all sent home.

 

 

 

 

 

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June List

Even despite how crazy busy this month has been, I have been trying hard to accomplish my list!

 

1.) Find a place to live in Seattle/roommates---this is seriously stressing me out! I've got a lead on this one and my fingers are crossed that it works out.

2.) No Caffeine---its a stretch but I believe I can do it. Yeah this just did not work out for me. Whoops!

3.) 2 pinterest projects.  Completed! You'll see a post on it soon!

4.) Make $500 dollars for Washington.  I did not expect this to be the easiest one, but I did it in a week! Being a server rocks!

5.) Use myfitnesspal everyday  Yeah it wasn't every day but 6/7 days of the week which is pretty good.

6.) Pay for the meal or coffee behind me. I did not get to do this one so I am adding it too next months list again!

7.) Read 3 Books.  I read two! and I am counting blogging for dummies as one of them.

8.) Up my blog design and contact pages. Blogging for Dummies is going to become my best friend! I read the book and I have added some new things to my blog. Facebook contact, twitter feed, and a new design. Let me know what you think. Do you like it or need something different?

 

June List

1.) Pay for the person behind me.

2.) 2-3 Pinterest Projects.

3.) Add instagram feed to my blog.

4.) Go on a group blind date with my besties--their idea!

5.) Participate in High Five for Friday-a blog link-up hosted by one of my favorite bloggers.

6.) Workout at least twice a week.

What's on your list?

 

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