This week has been extremely crazy emotionally and physically. Final exams and friendship have been the two F's in my life. These two F's have the same effect as they would if they were F's on papers. They made me feel horrible and not good enough.
Finals I am used to. It was my fourth semester of finals and I didn't do horrible, but I also didn't do the best as I usually do. Friendships on the other hand have never been so difficult for me. I'm cautious as to what to say because I know I have friends who read this and I don't want them to take it the wrong way, but this is also my heart and life which is what this blog is all about. So I will slowly tread upon this road with caution...
I'm not sure if there is much road to travel on with in this friendship. I think we have come to the end. There is no going forward or backwards which is sad to say. I feel like I have devoted a lot of myself to this friendship, but that it was only here for a season which has come and past. So where do I or we go from this? That's the part I am not quite sure about. Isaiah 30:21 says "you will hear a voice saying this is the way, walk in it." I don't hear the voice. I just hear the awkward silence. The killing silence. Do we say goodbye; can you ever say goodbye?
My words on this subject keep fading. It never seems to be easy to just let something go. To just say goodbye and be done with it. And your self never makes it easy. It constantly battles with itself and asks questions that confuse you even more than you were before.
All I can say is that I am thankful for a summer to spend with God; serving him, re-devoting myself to him, and listening to his understanding.
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