Who was your first love? Where is he or she now?
I've never been "in" love if that makes sense. I've never said "I love you" to show a deep commitment to someone, but I have felt love for someone grow in me. The first person was probably K*. We have never met, but we were pretty serious about each other when I was in middle school. Thanks to a good friend we both became friends and began to talk almost every night on the phone and send the lovely myspace messages to each other. At this age, I was not allowed to technically "date." So we talked with the fact we both liked each despite the fact we never met. After he bought me a ring, I realized how serious the situation was and I began to pull away. I pulled away completely when I stopped talking to him when we were supposed to meet at an amusement park. He and I are still friends and sometimes I wonder if maybe he was the guy meant for me. We still haven't met and I hope we meet at least once someday. Whether he is the guy for me or not, he is the first boy who created the idea of love for me.
If you could be in your dream place at this moment, what would you be doing?
Right now my dream place is Seattle. Indiana is home, but I am ready to spread my wings and land in Seattle. I want to develop its lifestyle and learn the life of Seattle student. I would stroll the city, the parks, take in the scenery and wind up in a Starbucks coffee shop having an intellectual conversation with a stranger. I'd discover a quaint cafe and eat lunch while reading a book. Then I'd buy the outfit I've always dreamt of with the perfect shoes, of course. I'd end the night enveloped in the arms of the man for me. What a dream!
If you had the opportunity to get a message across to people, what would it be?
To be honest I dream of speaking in front of people; telling them about the hardships in life but the beauty with breakthrough. But the one thing I have always had a desire to talk about is Purity. Maybe it's because it is the topic that brought me to Christ or has played a major part in the decisions in my life. Mainly purity when it comes to sexual actions and relationships. I'll be honest. I struggle with pure thoughts, pure actions, pure desires, etc. I'm a human being. I desire sex, I crave the feeling, and I dream about the experience. I've made mistakes in relationships and crossed the lines I set up for myself, but their is beauty in redemption and that's what my message would be. It is never too late to start over or to begin again. Forgiveness is constant in every aspect of our lives and especially with purity. I want to warn younger girls of the life that is going to hit them, discuss the events occurring in high school girls life, and teach older girls how to forgive themselves for their mistakes. Purity is beautiful and unique in each of us. That would be my message.
What can you do today that you were not capable of doing a year ago?
A year ago I was at the weakest point in my life to date. I was lost, broken, hurt, angry, sad, and depressed. A year ago I couldn't confront my problems in a healthy mindset. I would get lost in a world that wasn't real to get out of reality. This year I am capable of asking myself the tough question. What is really making me want to escape reality? I have the strength to say no to the temptation and I have strength to ask the tough questions.
If you had the opportunity to go back in time and change one thing, would you do it?
While I do not have regrets in life, there is one aspect of my life that I would change if I could. It has been a chain on me for my life and sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had not stumbled across it and let it be apart of my life.
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