I've got to say it. I have missed blogging. For the last few months it seems like I've written one post a month and I miss my every day blogging. But I also haven't had any ideas to write about. I've been writing paper after paper for school and it seems like it takes all the words I have to say even if they are not the words I want to write about. I haven't stopped reading my favorite blogs and I am a little jealous that they do not have to waste all their words writing papers.
I guess I am back in the mode again where I am questioning whether being in school is a good idea or not. I've been considering taking a semester off to see what it would be like, but I don't like the idea of being a semester behind. I keep coming back to the curiosity of if I will actually become a counselor after I graduate or not. Yes, I like what I am learning, but I guess I am wondering if that is enough to keep me going. I'm good at school. I get my assignments in on time, I do my best to pay attention in class, and I am letting what I am learning sink in.
Its just so mundane. I've been at this for 17 years now. That's a long time to be studying, sitting at a desk or table, and listening to someone else teach you about the one thing you want to do. And then I realize any thing I really want to do requires time in school. If I stopped doing counseling, I'd want to be an event planner, but that also requires more time in school. I also want to get into the matchmaking field but that also requires some kind of certificate.
I don't want to work in the restaurant industry forever. Yes, the money is really great, but its not become mundane. Maybe I am just nervous that counseling will become mundane after I spend a few years in the field. Maybe I am nervous that I'll never be satisfied? The thoughts are overwhelming. With school, these are constantly running through my head. It's a lot to hold altogether.
And this is where I've come to:
I'm not sure what feels right at the moment, but I'm looking to discover it.
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