Prepare yourselves...

I have finally caught up on my sleep (not my school work) so therefore I can finally let you know about my trip to Washington.

Let me give you a little background of my expectations for this trip:

I expected to walk into the Seattle School and know whether or not this would be the school for me.

I expected to find awesome deals on clothes and come back with a new wardrobe.

I expected to have deep conversations about life with all my camp friends.

I expected to want to call this place home.

Here is what really happened:

I left the Seattle School in tears and even more confused than I was before. It turns out that God does not always strike you with clarity the instance you expect it. The school is great and has a lot to offer, unfortunately I am just unsure if it is what I want for my life. Graduate school in general is now an uncertainty in my life. I want so much to become a licensed counselor, but the process is long and hard. Being in school for three more years just sounds horrible at this point. All I want to do is be an adult with a salary, own house, and enough money to pay all my bills and contribute to my coffee addiction. I am still in the same place I was when I left for Washington. Unsure of the future and no idea where I am being called.

I bought a postcard and one shirt on my trip to Washington. I did not find amazing deals on clothes and did not create a new wardrobe. College students budgets suck.

I had lots of conversations with my camp friends, but only a few deep ones. Time and change was something I was reminded of this trip. People change with time and sometimes are not the people you remember and sometimes become more important people in your life. These relationships are ever-changing even though I may want them to stay the same. Time. Time. Time.

For the last year and a half since I returned from Washington, I have been telling people Seattle would be the next place I called home. I never had any doubts about it, but now I am filled with doubts. Being away for a week reminded me of the distance that exists between Seattle and Indiana. It reminded me of how important my family and friends are to me and how distance can play a huge factor in those relationships. I also finally realize how dramatically my life will change if I pack up and move to Washington. 

My future is so UN-defined. I like definition and plans. I want a defined plan for my life.

When will I have a defined plan for my life?

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