There is a part of my life that I am completely ashamed of. It is a weight that holds me down and brings me to nights of tears or nights of cheap pleasure. Yet, I find myself in the same spot every so often completely tired of my selfish acts. This is one of those times.
I am not proud, but ashamed.
I am hurting, not happy.
I am sad and mad.
I am lost and seeking.
My worth has been misplaced and my love for myself thrown away.
While I know this path for me is wrong, I creep back onto it and find myself in a worse place than before. I've gone months at a time standing strong, but my sense of comfort makes me think I can handle it again and I fall quickly into the lies all over again. Darkness overwhelms and my true self disappears.
Today is the day I say stop.
Today is the day I give it all to God.
Again.
Today is the day I remember my worth comes from Him and not this world.
Today is the day I start to love and respect myself again.
Today is the day I asked God to "Never Let Me Go" and to "Deliver Me."
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