If you can name the movie these girls starred in together, then you may just have luck understanding my first paper to air on this blog. These actresses appeared in the movie Now and Then which is about four girls who spend a summer saving their money to buy a tree house and also discovering the difficulties of growing up. It is a great movie and you should watch it immediately! Also, watching it may help you understand my paper.
This specific paper I am sharing will be shared in four parts as it is relatively long and I do not want to overwhelm you. The basis of the paper is to describe each of the attachment styles the girls appear to show and how a therapist may work with them on reaching a secure attachment.
The four attachment styles are
Secure
Pre-occupied/Anxious/Ambivalent/Resistant
Disorganized
Dismissive/Avoidant
If it helps, here is the prompt I was given for the paper:
Discuss your clinical approaches to secure, dismissive, preoccupied, and disorganized patients.
Discuss how you might use your subjective experiences to formulate your treatment
approach to enable them to become more secure. Discuss how a more secure attachment to you would make their lives better.
To help the you understand the goal is to receive a secure attachment, I will Start with Chrissy who I believe best represents a secure attachment style.
Both of these ladies played Chrissy in the movie.
In a world where movies
are a way to receive entertainment and to educate, it seems fitting to use it
as a way to display the many different ways individuals learn to attach to one
another. Whether it is through parents, significant others, or friends, each
individual attaches through a unique process. Although the goal is to achieve a
secure relationship, working towards this is not always easy and requires the
individual to travel back in time to examine their first attachment
relationship. In the movie Now and Then, four
teenage girls spend a summer chasing their dream goal of a tree house while also
dealing with the difficulties of growing up, learning the truth about life, and
facing their relationships with their parents. The movie brings to life each attachment
style of the teen girls and provides an opportunity to learn the importance of
understanding the way an individual attaches and how it continues to impact
them in the future.
Chrissy
Chrissy was raised as an only child with parents who are
still married to this day. Her mother always encouraged her to come to her and
discuss anything that came up. Because of Chrissy’s friend group choice, her
mother chose to prepare her for topics about sex, drugs, and peer pressure in
order to help her learn it in a kind manner rather than vulgar manner from her
friends. Although Chrissy struggled with her weight, her mother and father
helped her keep a positive image about herself. They wanted her to blossom into
the person she desired to be and to learn she is beautiful no matter what shape
or size she was.
While the rest of Chrissy’s friends had difficulty
expressing their feelings, Chrissy felt she could freely open up and be honest
about what was going on inside of her. Chrissy describes her relationship with
parents as being in-sync with each other. She discusses how she felt what she
did meant something to them and that they desired to be in relationship with
her. In moments of difficulty or chaos, Chrissy keeps the motto that things
will work out for the best and feels like she has a good handle on her life.
Chrissy has entered into therapy as she is preparing to
become a mother for the first time. She expresses a desire to want to create
the same relationship she has with her mother with her soon to be baby girl.
Chrissy has seen how not all relationships turn out the way hers did with her
parents. The friends Chrissy involved herself with had what she calls difficult
up-bringing’s and relationships with their parents filled with turmoil. Chrissy
has a desire to prevent that kind of relationship with her daughter and wants
to educate herself on ways she can work towards providing a secure base for her
infant that she keeps reading about.
Clinical
Approaches for Chrissy
Chrissy’s therapist is excited that she is being
pro-active in learning about secure attachments and fot the relationship she
has with her parents. To her therapist, Chrissy grew up with parents who
focused on creating a secure base for her. This secure base allowed Chrissy to
communicate with them openly, feel safe, and trust them (Costello, 2013, p. 9).
While the therapist has a desire to compliment her parents success in creating
a secure attachment, she also wants Chrissy to not focus on this idea of
perfection she keeps describing.
One area the therapist would like Chrissy to explore is
the moments where Chrissy did not always have cohesion with her parents. The
intention here is not remind Chrissy of bad memories, but to challenge her to
see the assumptions she makes for a secure relationship (Holmes, 2001, p. 17).
Chrissy wants to be the perfect wife and perfect mother and although this is a
great goal, her therapist would like her to learn that even perfect mother’s
and wives make mistakes. The hope is that Chrissy will allow room for grace in
her relationship with her daughter and to see mistakes as a part of the
motherhood process, not as a detriment to her child.
Another area the therapist would like to look at is
Chrissy’s self-esteem. Chrissy’s therapist is concerned that her self-esteem is
relying on her marriage and family life. Part of the observation of self-esteem
is to teach Chrissy the importance of allowing her daughter to create a
balanced self-esteem in life. This balanced self-esteem is not dependent on
external validation, but can be open to it (Holmes, 2001, p. 10). In teaching
this to Chrissy, the therapist hopes Chrissy will remember the importance of
allowing her daughter to pursue a healthy self-esteem. The therapist also hopes
it will remind Chrissy that her self-esteem can partly come from her marriage
and family, but most importantly it should come from herself.
While the therapist thinks Chrissy has an advantage of
creating a secure relationship with her daughter, she also wants Chrissy to
explore what it would mean if that did not happen. She wants Chrissy to discuss
the feelings driving her desire, the fears that drive it, and what she thinks
will happen to her daughter if a secure attachment does not arise. The hope is
the Chrissy can put words to some of the ideas she has played out in her head
and to allow her space to feel free to share them. Because of Chrissy’s focus
on perfection, her therapist thinks she is hiding a lot of feelings and
thoughts that do not seem like perfection.
Continuing to ask Chrissy to explore more about herself,
her family of origin, and her relationship with her husband is a goal to help
Chrissy stay in touch with herself. If Chrissy can be open about herself, her
therapist believes she will create space for her daughter to do the same. The
therapist also wants Chrissy to practice creating a secure relationship in the
therapeutic environment. Practicing it in the sessions allows Chrissy to make
mistakes and be more open to the moments she may do this with her daughter.
Overall, the therapist believes psycho-education and practicing will benefit
Chrissy immensely along with continual exploration of who she is as an
individual.
Please ask questions! I am not expert but I can at least point you into some good areas!
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