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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

I am torn...

Warning: This may be a controversial post. Please keep your rude comments to your self. I do not seek to hurt or cause anger; I just seek to talk through what I am thinking.

I am sure you have heard, but Chick-fil-a is in a public battle against homosexuals. I am torn because I love chick-fil-a and I love homosexuals. Now let me explain.

Chick-fil-a has been a place of so many memories for me. Not only do they have excellent fast food, but it is a place I spent most of my high school career. Every Wednesday my best friend and I would grab a late lunch after school and it became a ritual. It is where we bonded, fought, and cried. It's a place I remember meeting for small group at and I remember crying because I had just been broken up with. It is where my dad took us in the summer for our weekly lunch date. I love chick-fil-a and anyone who knows me well would know that. It's the place I would choose to have a first date at; that's how serious I am.

Homosexuals remind me of my best friend whom I found out was gay during my Senior year of high school and it made me love him even more. I think it may be one of the reasons our friendship stayed intact all these years, because there was always love no matter whom he loved. I do not look at him and say, "Who you love is wrong, what you love is wrong." I look at him and say, "I love you because He first loved us."


And this is where I am torn. Two of my loves at battle with each other; protesting, in a way, hatred towards each others. It is amazing how much media has exploded over the statements from both sides and I feel thrown in the middle. I feel pulled into a fight that I never asked to be apart of, but did I ask to be apart of it when I chose to be a Christian and chose to love homosexuals. Is it my fault I'm torn?

Can there really be a neutral line? Can eating at a restaurant just be eating and not supporting all their decisions?

I'm curious as to what others think. Where are you standing in this debate and why are you standing there? For now, I'm standing in the middle. I still choose to love Chick-fil-a and the homosexual community, because it is my life goal to live out LOVE. Isn't that why God died on the cross, because he loved us?
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Saturday, July 21, 2012

Welcome Baby Green!

I have been MIA this week because....


I am a new aunt to this cute little boy!
Quinn Alexander was born Monday at 11:08 p.m. after my sister spent 23 hours in labor!
He came out bright eyed and continued to look at everyone as we left; he also came out with a mo hawk and has thus worn one every day he has been alive. I can already tell he is going to be a Ladies man.


In other news, I have been thinking a lot lately about a lot of things. One of those things of course has to do with boys. Who would have guessed?! I have just been trying to figure out this growing up thing. In high school, I was all about not dating unless I really got to know the guy first and if we were friends, but now that I am older and entering into my last year of college, I realize that mind set may not be right any more. I still believe in a lot of it, but is it wrong to date guys without having that strong friendship first? So many questions that come with this next year and I am just not ready for them. I have found I have been super procrastinative lately and it has to do with things I wanted to get done before school starts, but I just don't want to do it. There is just a lot I have to learn this next year.

In regards to my Senior year, I have also been thinking a lot of what the year is going to consist of and I have thought of a few things that would push me out of my comfort zone, but also be things I am interested in.

1.) Singing at chapel. It will happen!
2.) Try out for encore again?
3.) Go Evangelizing. I have always been a critic to evangelism, but after meeting some evangelists at the fair my curiosity has increased and I would like to go and try it out at least once.
4.) Enter into a Karaoke contest. I love singing and karaoke. Why not compete?
5.) Say yes to blind dates or dates. No I am not asked out on dates or blind dates often, but I want to be open-minded to them.
6.) Give a friendship a second chance? This one is way up in the air, but it is something I have been considering.
7.) Get crafty again! I was always wanting to do crafts when I was in school, but now that I actually have time to do them I don't. I blame it on the android.
8.) Be the outgoing person I know I am. Around my friends, I am loud and talk and not weary of what people will think of me, but in the real world I kind of clamp up sometimes. I want to be that outgoing person I know I am without worrying what people will think of me.
9.) Go red for a little bit. This shall happen in October!

And I am sure the list will go on and on.

Health wise...
this week was a slip. With the baby and work and my sleeping schedule off, I did not workout once, nor did I eat as healthy as I should have. Here's to this week and hopeful improvement!

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Friday, July 13, 2012

Pinterest Update

I have not been pinning nearly as much as I used to so this week I decided to get back on board and check out some new pins along with pins I have previously pinned before.


Doesn't that just scream comfort? I don't think I would ever get out of bed.


These are probably filled with calories, but most definitely worth it!

I am trying to implement this quote into my life. I need to do more of the things that I love; therefore, I put in my two weeks at Panera yesterday. I do not love working there and am more stressed out than anything when there. I was so nervous, but feel like a big kid now that I have quit my first job ever.


I am dying for some new boots, with sequins or some sparkle to them. I love my current boots, but everyone needs two pairs, right?


This screams me! Maybe someday...


I am thinking about making this. Not sure how to do the letters, but I think it would be a cute gift for my sister and my soon to be niece of nephew.


I want this dress for Al and Dylan's wedding so bad! Too bad I have no idea where it is from!


I hope I can be rich and design my own house because this would definitely be a part of it. I can just imagine kids taking naps because it meant sleeping on this.


Not sure I'll get to blog this weekend, so happy weekend to all!

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Thursday, July 12, 2012

Hello Future!?

My future has been on my mind a lot lately;  the tomorrow future, the semi-close future, and the 10 years from now future.

Tomorrow Future
Here comes the little girl inside of me. Do you ever just start a conversation with someone and realize they seem super nice and very interesting? And then, your mind starts wondering about the what if's: what if he asked me out, what if he's interested in me, what if I asked him out.... All I want to do is go back to this job just to talk to him again; yes part of me wants to go back to see if he likes me the same way, but the other part is just to get to know him better because he seems like the first guy who seems genuine.

Semi-Close Future
I've talked about it multiple times, but I am up in the air about quiting Panera. I said I would once I got the job at Home Depot, but now that I have it I can technically work all 3 jobs; however, there is just one employee at Panera that will just irks me and makes it not worth it to work there by the end of the day. Since I started serving at Pipers, my dad thinks I should become a server during school. I like serving somewhat and I usually get 20% tips so I guess that means I am good at it, but just the idea of applying for jobs again sounds painful.

My last year of college also start in the semi-close future. I think I have 6 more weeks before my last first day of college. It is so weird/scary to think about! There is so much I still want to do and have not done at Anderson. This year I have two things that I have to do: try-out for encore again either by myself or with someone and try out for chapel team. Right now I am missing walking around campus into the haven to go to Mocha Joe's and grabbing a mocha freeze (for the life of me I cannot remember if that is what is called right now: let me introduce you to my memory farts) and working on homework. Okay, the homework I could do without, but if I have homework that means I am back at school.  I also keep thinking about our house we are going to live in and how to decorate it. I thought decorating the apartment last year was going to be super fun and it was, but there's something about a house that just makes it different.

10 Years Future
I have spoken about my dream, but in case you forgot here it is. After graduating next May, I would like to go to Grad school, preferably in Seattle, to get my masters in Counseling Psychology to become a licensed counselor. From there I would like to work a couple of years as a counselor somewhere and begin working on my long-term dream. The long-term dream is to open up a half-way house and bed and breakfast. The B&B would be for the individuals staying at the half-way house to earn their own money. So here are the questions I have been asking myself the last couple of days.

How long will an individual be allowed to stay at the half-way hours?- I think between 3-6 months might be good, but maybe offer up a year stay if it seems necessary. I want there to be enough time to teach them how to earn their own money, take care of it, and learn some skills that are helpful with applying for jobs and subjects they are interested in, but at the same time I do not want them to get too comfortable where it becomes a place to hang out rather than learn.

Will they pay to stay at the half-way house?- I don't think they should the first couple of months there, but I do think they should start practicing how to pay a rent or bills in a timely manner so maybe by month three I would start requiring them to pay a rent. My fear is that if I do that, then individuals would stay for two months and then leave without learning a new part of the process.

Can individuals come back if they fall-off their feet again?- Part of me wants to say yes and part of me wants to say no. I do not want them to come back because they know it will be a place of shelter and where there needs can be met, but I also want to offer grace. I think a maximum of two times through the program should be allowed. Do you think that is enough?

What skills do you want them to learn?- So many! My first and primary is showing them how to handle money because it is an essential to life. I want them to learn how to earn it rather it just be given to them and how to manage it. I dream of bringing in individuals who can teach them how to save and invest because I am in no way qualified nor will I ever be (I'll probably learn from this as well!). I also want to teach the same basics of cooking, house cleaning, and taking care of yourself. Preparing them for the job world is also another thing I want them to learn. I want them to learn how to make a resume, how to interview and apply, and learn basic business etiquette. With that, I also want them to be able to choose classes they take and here are some of the classes I think would be fun: jewelery-making, how to dress for your body type/makeup 101, hair 101, auto-work, how to act with kids (maybe some of them will have children), playing an instrument, crafting, barista 101, chef 101, writing 101, and oh so much more!

What is the age and gender of those who can enter into the half-way house?- This is something I struggle with. Who is to young or to old? Strictly females or co-ed? I think for the half-way house to succeed I would start with a minimum of 18 and females only. Maybe if the program develops we can add more houses for teens, males, and whole families.

What is the purpose of you wanting to open this program?- To enter into a ministry that incorporates both of my degrees. To show God's love and forgiveness/grace on his people. To show people they are important no matter what parts of life they have walked and that it is never too late to start over. To achieve my dream.


If you have any thoughts, oppinions, or questions please comment and ask! I want to develop this dream with the help of others and incorporate their ideas so I am all ears!





Workout #3
40 Twisted crunches
100 crunches
30 wall push-ups
15 leg lunges (each side)
20 squats
80 Jumping Jacks
Scissors
20 leg lifts
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Monday, July 9, 2012

Unsaid words. #2


This unsaid words post is dedicated to those guys I spent time with or missed an opportunity with.

1.) Let's be honest. We didn't really have a relationship, did we? Our couple of months together was based on texting and trying to sneak around but thanks to God's protection it never happened. While you may have been the first boy I considered dating, I do not think you treated me right. We should have just stayed friends, but of course our teenage desires created more than friendship.

2.) I actually thought I was going to marry you, but I think that is exactly why I ended things with you. You were always two steps ahead of me and I was always four steps behind that. We also ruined an awesome friendship, but I guess that is what taking risks is all about. Thanks to you I found out that you really can fall in love with someone and run away from it, but it is something all girls will go through, right?

3.) I have no idea what I was even thinking when I crossed paths with you again. For some reason I always have to go back for seconds? While I think we both had a part in everything that happened, I think I was the most honest all along. Thanks for showing me that I really need a guy who is upfront about everything.

Through all of these encounters and relationships I have learned so much. I've learned that I really want a special guy in my life, but first I need to learn how to enjoy being by myself and making myself feel special. I have learned the value of finding a guy who has strong morals and beliefs in God. Dating is not fun for those whose hearts connect easily to others and that I would much rather be the fifth wheel than date someone to be apart of the group. While I am back and forth all the time about guys and singleness, I do know that this journey is hard, but worth all of it. Whoever God is preparing for me is going to be some fantastic guy who I cannot wait to give my heart to.

Workout #2
50 arm circles (both sides)
80 jumping jacks
100 crunches
40 twist crunches
30 arm dips
30 second planks x3
20 leg lifts
15 leg lunges (each side)
Punches
20 seconds of scissors
Arm workout to Lights by Ellie Goulding

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Sunday, July 8, 2012

Struggles and Blessings #3

I am so sorry I have been lacking on the blogging. I use my actual laptop once a week now and therefore I do not have a full keyboard to type on most days and have no desire to use the little keyboard on my tablet.

This week has been crazy and very long. Work, work, work is all I do which means money is coming, but it also means I get tired super fast.

Blessings

I had the best night out with some work friends and my roommate on Friday. I laughed way too much and got to see a college friend. It was a late night, but so worth the four hours of sleep I got.

I am loving work at the Pipe. The whole staff is connected and we just laugh. Work is supposed to be enjoyable and I am loving this place.

My new job at the Home Depot has great benefits and sells laptops with a discount which means once I get some money saved I can buy one that charges normally!

Struggles

I had a drama t.v. like moment on Monday. I walked out on a friend during a lunch we were having. My feelings were justified but the way I handled it was so wrong.

I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping which means my mood is horrible most days.

I totally slacked on the working out thing this week. T.V.-1 Rachel-0
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