Coming Home

Like my last post said, I've been feeling lost. I heard this song today that really tore at my heart and expressed the words that I have been trying to find and say. Come Home by OneRepublic. I encourage you to listen to it to understand what I'm talking about.

I'm sure this song was probably writting for a girl, but when I hear the lyrics I think of God. I imagine myself singing most of the verses and then God singing the chorus' back to me. Telling me to come home because he misses me and knows that there is a better part of me. I've been searching in all the wrong places for something to fill these emptiness inside of me. I'm constantly getting lost in all this world has to offer. But what does it really have to offer? Nothing that will fill me up. You'd think being a Christian that I would always remember that, but I have been fighting this battle since day one.

It's hard to wake up everyday and realize that this place I live in is not my real home. It's all temporary. It's also hard to wake up live each day God wants me to live it. Some days I want to be selfish or in a bad mood. It's also hard to remember that I can't make it through each day without God's help. One quality that I love and dislike about myself is that fact that I am very independent. I love being able to have the confidence to do things on my own and not needing help all the time, but I also dislike the fact that being independent causes a lot of struggle in my life too. I want to do it all on my own, but I can't. I can't lift a 100 tons by myself or run my life by myself. And that is exactly what I have been doing. I've been holding so hard on to the reigns in my life that God has not even had the chance to take over.

I'm sure I will say these a billion times before my time on this world is over, but starting today I am handing those reigns over to God. I need him and I cannot live without him. You've always been in my heart, but not completel controlling every area of it. Well, it is all yours now. Take my heart and fill me up for I am yours.

"The Lord will gaurd your going out and your coming out from this time forth and forever." Psalm 121:8 Pin It