Questions and a Pit Stop

My life feels somewhat empty right now. It's filled with God, but its lacking the Passion I desperately want. I just keep filling up my mind with questions.

Where am I going?
What do I do know?
When will I meet you?
Why is this so hard?
Where is that fire I'm longing for?
Why can't I get out of this rut?

The questions go on forever.

I wonder where I'm headed. The direction isn't quite clear right now. Just six months ago I was pretty sure of where I was going, but road bumps have made me pull to the side. The first road bump was ending my relationship with T*. I was pretty sure he and I were headed for a long life together, but God had a different set of plans for me. The second bump was Lizzie leaving. I knew the day would eventually come, but I never knew it would be so soon, so fast, and so sudden. I only had a month to accept the fact she was leaving and I had a whole year planned out for us in my head. Now all I can do is wait for her to come home at Christmas and hopefully I can scrounge up so many to take a visit to Florida to see here.

They say things get easier with time, but I've got to be honest. This has been one of the hardest summers for me and it is definately affecting me emotionally a lot. I miss these relationships I had a lot. Although I know God ending T and I's relationship and seperating Lizzie and I is for the best, it is still hard to accept it.

But even with all of that happening, I know God is working in my life. I knew after Lizzie left that I would need to be more assertive with my life. I had to stop being afraid of doing things on my own. So I did just that. I've rekindled a friendship that was put on hold for a while and I'm realizing how much my college friends mean to me and how I need to befriend more students at Anderson. I am ready to go back to school because I know God has an amazing year planned for me.

I also went to church by myself this week. I should clarify that on Sunday mornings I go to the church my dad works at and then on Sunday nights I would go to church with Lizzie. I told her I probably wouldn't go anymore because I basically only went to hang out with her, but I went this week and I was happy I did. Sure, going to church alone is awkward and weird, but I realize that going to church is not for the social gathering, that is just a plus side of it. It's about going to seek God and learn more and I get that when I go.

I may have these questions, but God is working and moving me. I may feel like I've made a pit stop right now, but that is only so I could re-examine the map God has laid out for my life. God is moving! Pin It