The other week I was talking with my best friend about dating and she states:
"Rach, you really aren't very good at picking out guys to date; you know what you want, but you tend to not pick guys like that."
And so it got me thinking. Are we the best determiners of who we should date or should we rely on those close to us to decide?
I think its something to consider. Your friends are the people who hear you talk about what you want in your future husband/boyfriend/fling. They also know who you are as an individual. Maybe we shouldn't just let any friend choose, but I think your best friends could probably do a great job.
Not that all the guys I have dated have been complete duds, but I have made some lousy choices. And I'm guilty of going back for round 2, meaning the second chance card which just reminds me of the reason I ended it in the first place. Oh yeah, I am also that girl who typically ends the relationship. And I usually know within the first week of the relationship whether it will work out and then continue to talk myself out of my intuition and say I can make it work.
I think that is why maybe we should rely on others to help us with our decision in who we date. They say we are our own worst enemy and I definitely am when it comes to dating. Everyone wants to be loved and cared for, and I tend to make sacrifices to receive that even though that's not what I want.
So this is what I am doing to fix this.
1.) Actually be friends with the guy first for a month or two. Friendships can bloom into relationships and the time helps you learn about the other person.
2.) Listen to what my friends think. My best friends are very perceptive and tend to be right about the relationship I am considering.
3.) Do not budge on religion. As much as my faith has been rocked for the past few years, I still want a guy who is going to be the spiritual leader for my future family. I want the guy who grabs my hand at dinner to pray before we eat or suggests I pray when I am stressed.
4.) Date the guy who calls you instead of texts you. Stupid technology has changed the dating world and I am over the texting phase. I want to hear the guys voice and tone so I actually know what he is saying.
5.) Listen to my intuition. It's usually right!
Maybe this doesn't work for you and maybe it doesn't work for me, but it's worth the try!
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